The Misadventures of Karina and Daemon

Chapter 2: N o s ta l g i a Continues

"Karina.." I heard him saying. It sounds like he has difficulty bringing my name. I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes up. Begging my lachrymal gland to have a day off.

"Why Damon?" my voice cracked. I never even felt it saying. It comes from somewhere farther down my throat.

"I did not intend it Karina. I was clueless."

"Bullshit. You're clueless? You're clueless? You naive bastard!" I snapped. It's been more than a week now. And this is the first time I got the chance to blurt things out. I'm tired already .

"Karina I was not aware you're falling in love with me. If I knew then I should have confronted you."

"What planet are you from that you don't know the difference between treating a girl as a friend and treating her as a potential girlfriend?"

"What difference? What have I done that made you think I was into you?" God. He's washing hands. I got on my feet and within a second my left hand landed his dauntless face. His head move to the side but he didn't flinch. I was breathing heavily so I move to the window to catch some air. God. I could kill him. I heard him stand up.

"Karina.." I grip the window sill. I hate how my heart clench every time he utters my name.

"Everything Damon. Everything. All the attention you gave me, those sleepless nights finishing my projects, ditching some of your friend's rendezvous to accompany me and scaring my suitors away. Those actions made me believe something was up but you just can't say it."

"Karina.. Yes I felt different with you. More than a friend." I looked at him askance. He continued. "I treated you like you're my little sister, a best friend. Whatever I did to you was not suppose to make you fall for me. I never intended it. Never looked at it that way." He looked contrite. I looked like I was seeing him for the first time. He's a sicko. I laugh.

"Are you even human Damon? I am not your little sister. That was not what the others saw in us. In you for that matter. Siblings, with all discretion, are not hailed King and Queen of Prom. Siblings, boy and girl, don't hold hands in public in a romantic way. Yes, a brother can protect her sister from scumbags, but he'll never drive away suitors in the age of 18 for heaven's sake! When you're a friend and you do that, a silent consensus are formed. They would think you're keeping me for yourself. And you made me feel that way. God. How can you be so naive Damon?" I hissed.

"Karina--

"Don't say my name again. It's disgusting."

"You really hated me through and through. But Ka--" I shot him a bloody derisive stare. He shook his head.

"Okay. But you need to listen to me. Everything I did and everything you felt is purely coincidental. You called me when you have difficult or even menial schoolworks. You called me when you needed company. I was driving your suitors away because you're telling me they are pestering you--

"You're a goddamn insensitive pushover Damon. Are you trying to say now that whatever I feel right now was my fault?"

"No. And I am not a pushover. I was there for you not because I want to please you but simply because you asked me. You are Tito Zander's daughter and the least I would do to you is to let you down. How can you assume when I'm not saying anything? I thought we're clear after your 17th birthday that if something pops up, you would be bold enough to tell me. I never thought this coming. All the while I thought I was just being a good brother. And you really need my help. What happened Karina? What the hell happened?" I watched Damon's mouth spill out those words. I become nonplussed. I stare at him while digesting what he said. It dawned on me. Was it just all an illusion? Did my mind really made it all? Did I concoct everything just to fit with my phantasm that something is going on between us? Is there really a difference between the treatment of a girl-girl or boy-boy friendship to girl-boy friendship? What could have I done if Thalia did it all to me? God. Thalia did it all to me. She was also there for me in lieu of Damon's. But I didn't fuss at her. Asking if she falls in love with me. I sat back in the couch. I feel so weak. The room is getting bigger and bigger and I'm getting smaller and smaller. God. How can a person be stupid this much?

"Kar--

"Please go Damon."

"Karina..

"Just go please.." I could barely speak. I heard him coming towards me. I stand up. "I said go out Damon! Go out!!" I hollered pointing the door. I breakdown the moment he step out. I locked the door and cried my heart out. I cried for all those 4years in college I spent nudging Damon's heart. I cried for my 4years of idiosyncrasies. I cried because I have created a well deep inside me for the past years and when Damon said all that words, my body shook and the well broke. The water gushed out incessantly untill all the liquid in my body dried up. I fell asleep in the couch completely wrung out.

........

I rub my eyes to wipe away tears that formed while I recall everything. I get up from the sand and and scan my surroundings. People plunging in the water, people lying in the sand and people that simply stroll. I wonder if any of them is also here to collect themselves. Of course not. If one would want to straighten their twisted life, they wouldn't choose this bruhaha of a place. But I don't want a serene place to mend myself. I dreaded silence. Since the incident with Damon, I escape all silences. Dad gave me a ticket back to Australia but I refused. I have never been here before. I'll let myself be drowned to this busy and beautiful place.

I fix my bikini top and put on my short. I'm thirsty.

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