This One's For You (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Chapter Twelve: No More

"I had a wonderful night." I smiled, grasping Marshall's hand. He smiled back at me, leaning his forehead against mine.

"As did I." He leaned his head further, connecting our lips.

"I have to get going, work tomorrow." I signed, squeezing his hand. His smile faded, and he in return squeezed my hand.

"Same here. I'll visit you tomorrow?" He asked, his eyes pleading. I giggled, removing a stand of hair that had fallen in front of his crystal blue eyes.

"That sounds good." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I love you Blair." He said faintly, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Love you too." I whispered, planting one last kiss before I dropped my arms from around him. He smiled, both of us walking to our cars.

I sat in the driver's seat, my mind instantly wandering to Austin. I couldn't do this anymore; the guilt was too much. I couldn't leave Marshall, no matter how much I wanted to be with Austin. I felt obligated to have a relationship, and to have it end normally, not because there's another guy and Marshall was an attempt to move on. The next time I saw Austin, I would have to tell him no more. No matter how much it broke my heart.

I pulled into my driveway, killing the engine and just sat there. Why did I always make bad decisions? No matter how much I thought it was a good idea, it always came back and bit me. But this; it has to be the most troublesome.

And what's going to happen when it comes to Warped Tour? Alternative Press chose me to cover it, and Of Mice & Men are performing this year. Austin doesn't know yet; maybe I didn't have to tell him after all. But I'd probably regret it later, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

The thing I cared most at this very moment, was trying Austin I couldn't continue down the path we were taking. None of it was right, no matter how much I wanted to be. I was now dreading seeing him tomorrow, but I couldn't hide from him; that's childish, even for me.

I signed, opening the car door and heading inside. Great, I'd have all of tonight thinking about this and what if he all the sudden can't make it tomorrow? I wanted to stop worrying about this, but it seemed impossible. I was suddenly drained of all my energy, and I barely made it to my bed before I collapsed, passing out.

*****

"I don't know what to do." I whispered, my drain of energy from last night took a toll, and I was still drowsy.

"First of all," Arya sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I can't believe you won't be with him!" Anastasia shouted, throwing her arms into the air, nearly smacking Aryan and Mallory in the face.

"I told you why!" I yelled back, covering my face with my palms. After a moment I removed my hands by running my manicured fingers through my long brown hair.

"Will both of you keep your voices down?" Mallory hissed, plopping down on the couch. "We're adults here, most of us, and for this situation I really don't think yelling is needed."

"I'm sorry I just don't understand why she's so hesitant about dumping Marshall." She frowned, turning her attention from Mallory to me once again. "Babe, you already told me you and Marshall have your problems more after than not. Why would you do this to Austin?" She asked, her brown eyes looking for some sort of understanding.

"I explained it to you already. I'm not going to dump him just because the love of my life is divorced from his much-prettier-than-me wife." I groaned, relaying the same thing I've said for the past hour for a twentieth time.