The Baby Project. C.H. (A.U.)

Thirty Seven // Connected.

"Well that went surprisingly better then I thought." Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth when it's just Calum and I. The rest of the evening went really well, In fact it was like a normal family get together in the end, You wouldn't of even known that Calum and I had dropped a wedding bomb on everyone.

"Yeah, Strange." Calum shakes his head. "I think they are both going to be nightmares over the next couple of months though." Calum says referring to our mothers and I knew it was right, They were already going over things for the wedding by the end of the night. Calum and I would need to start getting organised because we would have to make a lot decisions and quickly.

"They'll be like Mumzilla's." I joke and Calum snorts. 

"They will be." Calum lets out a yawn before stretching his arms out. He almost looked like an overly tired pouty toddler which I thought was adorable. 

"Think you can stay up a little longer?" I ask Calum raising my eyebrows at him mischievously. 

"Uh probably." Calum gives me a curious look. "Why?" 

"Just come with me." I instruct him before turning away from him only to make my way upstairs. We had both had a pretty eventful night and I figure that the perfect for us to whine down would be to take a nice bubble bath together. It really wasn't something Calum and I did often but whenever we did, it was always so relaxing and not to mention just a wee bit intimate.  

Calum leans on the door frame watching in amusement while I turn the water on and then add the bubble bath which smelt like a delightful bouquet of flowers. Calum always claimed that my bubble bath was way too girly smelling but I know that he secretly loved it. 

"Hey Cal this is okay right?" I ask him suddenly feeling a little nervous. It had been months since anything remotely physically had happened between Calum and I. In fact the last time he had even seen me properly naked was probably the night I miscarried when he had to dress me for bed. 

I can't say it doesn't break my heart to think back to the night because I think it always would but I needed to not dwell on the sadness or lost on that night. I couldn't do that, I obviously needed to feel the pain but I also needed to get to a point where it didn't hurt as much and I think I was slowly getting there. 

I just hoped Calum was too. 

"What? Of course it is." Calum assures me making all my nerves disappear in an instant. It was odd how different Calum and I had been with each other since the miscarriage, I mean we were always that affectionate couple who would get yelled at by friends and family to keep our hands off each other, of course we never listened. I guess I knew things would change between us but I guess I didn't think things would be so different for so long. I missed us, I missed the couple we used to be but lately I had been thinking that maybe I needed to not dwell on who we were in the past and maybe I needed to start focusing on the people we would in the future. 

After all in a few months time, Calum and I would be married. 

"So are you going to take your clothes off?" Calum asks with a smirk, taking me right back to the day when we first showered together, the first time we were ever really intimate with each other. I still to this day remember how nervous I was about the whole thing, the idea of being naked with Calum in such an enclosed space made me feel dizzy back then, it still did now but just in the best way ever.

"Oh that's right ladies first huh?" I snort shaking my head at him in amusement. I keep complete eye contact with him as reach behind to pull the zipper of my dress down then let it graciously fall down to pool at the bottom of my feet. Calum lets out a Sharpe breath at the sight of me in just my underwear, the dress that I had worn tonight didn't work with a bra so I wasn't wearing one. 

"Wow." Calum mumbles his eyes drinking me in. I still loved the fact that he always looked at me like it was the first time. It made me feel incredibly special and loved. 

"So." I start then stop only so I can pull my underwear down my legs. "I think it's your turn now." I tell him and he smirks at me before taking a step forward so that he could join me in the bathroom. 

I dip my hand in the water to test the water and I'm happy at the temperature so I turn the tapes off and look back at Calum who was now shirtless. 

"Tut Tut." I grin at him. "We don't have all night." I tease and he lets out a chuckle as he pulls his jeans down his legs. I turn back to the bath and dip both of my feet in before sinking down in to the warm water, it instantly relaxed me and the smell from my bubble bath was just amazing. 

"I thought we weren't allowed to leave our clothes on the floor?" Calum asks me getting my attention. My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of him standing in front of me completely naked. I didn't even know when the last time I saw him naked was which was a shame because it was a incredible sight. 

"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrows at him and watch as he scoops up our discarded clothes before chucking them in the laundry basket that was in our bathroom.

"Oh right." I smirk at him as he comes to join me in the bath. I always complain about Calum not putting his clothes in the laundry basket yet I had just done the same thing. At least he knew how annoying it was to pick up after someone else washing now. 

"Right." Calum retorts and I roll my eyes at him. "Can you come over here?" 

"Nope." I shrug popping the 'p'. Calum and I were both sitting at opposite side of the bath, which was usual for us. "You come here." 

"Fine, I won't be the difficult one." Calum says moving over to me. 

"Can I wash your back?" I ask him and he shrugs before turning around so that his back was towards me. I never quite understood how someone could have an attractive back but then again nothing about Calum was ugly so I suppose it made sense. 

"Did I ever tell you her name?" Calum asks five minutes later. I had basically finished cleaning his back now and I was mainly just drawing patterns on it now, but Calum didn't seem to mind.

"Who?" I question him not having any idea who he could be talking about.

"You know my dream that I had about...our daughter." Calum says turning to look at me. He looks like he's in deep thought and I can't help but smile at him. I hadn't told him and I didn't know If I ever would but I loved the fact that he had dreamed of a little girl, who could be half of me and half of him. We obviously didn't get the chance to find out whether the baby was a boy or girl but I just like Calum for some reason thought it was a girl or at least we both saw the baby being a girl.

"You didn't tell me her name." I answer his question from before and he nods. 

"It was Gracie." Calum informs me and I take a few seconds to process it. I liked the name and from what Calum had told me about his dream, she suited it. 

"It's pretty." 

"Yeah." Calum frowns looking down at the water. I knew he was still hurting, we both were and he saw a visual of our possible child, he lost our baby not only in real life but also in his dreams. 

"Cal." I say softly reaching my hand to lift his face to meet mine. "I don't know when but I know that someday...when the time is right, we'll make another life together. We'll give that baby everything it needs and more and we'll be the luckiest parents ever. You know that right?"  

"Yeah I do. I guess I just thought that someday would be a lot sooner when you got pregnant and then it was gone." Calum admits and I feel my heart break just a little. Even though we weren't planning on getting pregnant when I did, we were still excited. It was still something we wanted and it absolutely sucked to have that and then have it taken away.

"I know." I sigh. "Do you know what I also know?" 

"What?" Calum raises his eyebrows at me in curiosity. I did after all know a lot of things.