My Rise to Fame

Chapter 20

New chapter! I was quick at updating, wasn't I? I deserve an oscar for that, don't I? And yes, at the end I will reveal one character in this story. And don't worry. There's some Jonnie love in this chapter. The chapter is more like a filler so don't get bored. It gets better in the next one. Way better.~Tegacha

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"The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never really fully explained and never said."~ Anonymous.

*A/N I love this quote. It's so appropriate for this story. Don't you think so?*

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Josh's POV

My life is currently a mess. Like actually a mess. Why? You may ask. Well, because I'm currently dating a girl I'm not that interested in and also because the girl I thought I liked doesn't see me as someone worthy of dating. Which is why I said what I said to her.

"I don't think things can be the way they were."

This is what I had said to her only two days ago and right now I regretted saying those few words to her.

Why?

Well, because right now I thought of her more often since Saturday. She just looked so pretty in her dress and seeing her in that dress made me think some thoughts that would give me a one way first class ticket to hell. And I wanted things to sort out themselves when it came to my relationship with Vonnie. But I didn't know what to do.

Right now my head was glass case of emotions. I was just so confused. Does she hate me or does she like me? Does she want me or not? It's like she's an emotional chameleon. Sometimes, it seemed like maybe she did like me. I swear she was staring at me when I was staring at her and she was probably thinking some naughty thoughts as well. And when I told her we couldn't be friends anymore, she seemed sad but sometimes I swear she hated me. Like when she gasped when I touched her, like she was wondering why in the world I was touching her.

I wish I could hear what she thought. If she really did hate me or not. Because if she did hate me, I was wasting my time thinking about her.

And then, there's Kayla. I don't even know how we got back together. She just started screaming to cameras that we were back together and that was that. I should have said something. I should have. But then dad wouldn't be pleased because your publicity and all.

I can't risk my publicity. I've messed up so much already. One more mistake and....

And...

One more mistake and Vonnie would be out.

I recalled what my dad had told me a few days ago.

"One more case or messing up and Vonnie is out. We don't need her. Our lives were perfect before she came and our lives will turn back to normal when she leaves."

I don't know why I want her here. Why I want her to stay. It's just that since she came, my life has changed so much. So much. She made me realize that I have to learn to be myself whether I was out in public being watched by cameras or in my bedroom. She was always herself in front of cameras. That day when we fought, she was really straightforward to that reporter. She told the reporter the truth, something not many of us would be bold to say. She said Hollywood was a bunch of lies. She was being herself.

And that's what Jacob didn't want her to be. Jacob wanted her to be someone else. Why would you want that? The only reason she became my co-star was because she was herself: an amazing dancer. She was herself. That's what I should do. I should be bold enough to tell everyone this is the real me.