Raising The Emo Bad Boy's Kids...Great. [Sequel]

Raising The Emo Bad Boy's Kids...Great {12}

                                                                                ***Ben’s POV***

                I pulled into Hanley’s driveway and walked up. I pounded on his front door and his dad opened it. He offered me a smile. “Hey Ben!”

                “Where’s Hanley?” I demanded. “In his room,” his dad replied, looking confused. I stormed into the house and up to Hanley’s room. Without bothering to knock, I threw open the door and let myself into his room.

                He looked up at me and smiled weakly. “Hey Ben. What are you doing here?” I walked over to him and grabbed him by his shirt. I slammed him up against the wall. “They told me,” I hissed. “Why didn’t you?”

                He grabbed my wrists looking scared. “It’s not true Ben! She’s not pregnant! It’s just a rumor Jenny’s spreading!” he cried desperately. “But you’ve fucked her haven’t you?” I snapped. “Y-Yea,” he whispered.

                I gripped his shirt tighter. “The hell is wrong with you?” I boomed. “Ben I used protection!” he cried. “I don’t give a fuck! You saw what happened to me and Ali! Why even take the chance?” I was screaming and shaking him.

                “Ben calm down!” he begged. “I will not calm down! I fucked up my life and I’m not letting you fuck up yours!” I shouted shaking him more. He was an idiot. Why have sex? Why take the risk?

                “Ben I….I’m sorry,” he whimpered. I released him and fell back on his bed. I buried my face in my hands and shook violently, realizing what I said to Ali before I stormed out of the house.

                “I love them. I love Ali. I love my boys. But I could’ve made something of myself. I was smart. I could’ve gone to college. I could’ve gotten a good job. I could’ve had a really good life,” I whispered. I suddenly longed for the life I had lived before the party I had taken Ali’s virginity at.

                “Ben, stop. Don’t do that to yourself. You can’t change the past. You guys have kids. Stop thinking about that stuff. You know what’ll happen,” he said gently, grabbing my arm and pushing my sleeves up to reveal all my scars and healing cuts.

                I looked at them and shuddered. “I miss getting drunk. I miss smoking. I miss being me,” I whispered. He sat next to me and shook his head. “Ben, you are you. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not. They need you Ben. You can’t abandon them just because you miss partying. Think of how much it hurt when your dad left you,” he whispered. The pain in his voice made me feel guilty. His mom had left him about 3 years ago.

                “I hate it so much Hanley. I hate the way I want to leave them. I love them so much. I love Shane and Shawn and Ali. They’re everything to me. But it’s hard to abandon partying. I’ve partied hard since I was 11 years old. I’ve been a man whore ever since I was 12.”

                Hanley was watching me with sympathetic eyes. He had known me my whole life. He had been there the day after I lost my virginity to a girl I didn’t give a fuck about. He had been there the first time I got drunk. I’m the one that gave him his first cigarette and I was the one that convinced him to quit smoking. We had smoked weed together for the first time.

                “Ben, they need you,” he whispered. “The twins, Ali, Jeydyn, your grandma and your dad. Your dad loves you so much Ben, just like my dad loves me. Remember when I ran away? That was the day you told me you got Ali pregnant. My dad was terrified because he couldn’t find me. Imagine if your dad couldn’t find you.”

                I felt my anger coursing through me again. “Well what about me? What about when I couldn’t find him?” I screamed, standing up and clenching my fists. “He left me and that bitch I call a mother fucked up my life!”

                I angrily tugged at my hair. I gripped the car keys tightly and headed towards Hanley’s door. I was done here. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

                “Ben come back!” he cried. “I can’t Hanley. It’s not you. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. But I will be mad at you if you so much as mention sex to your girlfriend again,” I said before I quickly left his house.

                I drove to Chris’s house and knocked on his door. He opened it and smiled widely at me. “BJ! Come on in!” he said and stepped aside. We went into his kitchen where Jay was sitting. He grinned at me as Chris grabbed a bowl and set it on the table.

                I sat next to Jay as Chris dug through his parents’ medicine cabinet and grabbed random pill bottles. He dumped several pills from each into the bowl and mixed it with his hand. He smirked at us and sat down.

                “Let’s do it up boys,” he said, sliding shot glasses to us and filling them with Vodka. I allowed myself to relax and took 2 shots of Vodka. Blindly, we reached into the bowl and grabbed pills after Chris slid us some beers.

                We swallowed the pills and chased them down with the beer. I had never been a huge fan of the pill game. I had only played it once before. But I was desperate to do anything to forget for a little. Maybe even knock myself out.

                And it was working.

                The world was getting blurry and I felt sick to my stomach. I had never felt like this before. It was different than being high or drunk. It was…well, I wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly.

                “BJ?” I heard Chris’s voice. It sounded close and far away at the same time. I couldn’t focus enough to find where it was coming from. It sounded a little drunk. “BJ, you don’t look too good,” he said.

                And then the world went black.