In God We Trust

Chapter 3 THE UNEXPECTED

Once they were safely in their cars and driving away, I allowed my tears to fall. I ran to my car almost blindly.

The blue Corvette was still in its parking space I noticed vaguely while I was fishing for my car keys. I finally felt its stab against my palm and harshly unlocked the car. For a second, I thought I saw a movement inside the Corvette in the corner of my eye. I shook my head. The windows were tinted. It was probably my reflection.

I threw my bag in the passenger seat and sat in the driver seat. I shut the door and let my head rest against the steering wheel. Hiccups racked my body. Something that had been built up since last year rose. Its size like a bear, destroying the perfect imaginary world I had created. It ripped my safety dam and a flood of grief and anger spilled out.

I finally lost control of my emotions and screamed, slapping the dashboard with my hands. For every hit, there were blames. I hated everything. I yelled at the air and cursed the man who still lived for murdering my mother. I hated judges and unlawful crimes. I hated cars and their uselessness in car crashes. I hated ambulances and doctors for not saving my mom. Finally, I hated my own person, for being helpless and only watching as my own mother died slowly in front of me.

I kept hitting the dashboard, anything really. I indistinctly heard a sound, and something engulfed me. I recognized it was a body. I squirmed from its tight hold, suddenly afraid for my life it was a kidnapper. I screamed and pounded the muscled body. My eyes were too puffy so I couldn't see who it was. All I heard was shhh-ing sounds.

Too weak to fight, I grasped their shirt, letting my eyes drift close. My head moved to its own accord closer to the body, fitting the space between their head and shoulder. I detected a musty smell that made my nose tingle. There was a buzzing sound in my head, and my toes were tingling. It was a feeling as if I jumped off a cliff and realized I would never reach the ground. I remembered vaguely repeating the phrase, "I hate myself." before I lost consciousness.

The sun's reflection was directly on my eyes and I forced my eyes open. I turned to my side, fingering the material that was covering me. It was a black North Face  jacket. Whoever it was that saw my breakdown probably ran away as soon as I blacked-out, leaving me with something to keep warm, I figured. Shivering, I decided to wear it.

"Looks like they're," hiccup, "either going to man-up to," hiccup, "get this back or never getting it back," I mused to myself hoarsely.

I hiccupped again, looking up at the mirror to see a disheveled, puffy-eyed, black-haired girl. I winced. The girl in the reflection copied the move. I searched the mirror for anyone in the car. Finding none, I looked behind the seat themselves to ensure I was alone. Nobody was in the car. It was a weird feeling to know someone had helped at your worst yet you don't even know who they are. I definitely knew it was a "he."

I started the car with multiple tries due to my shaking hands. "Okay. Okay," I said between breaths. "Just calm down. Drive." Hiccup. "To...to..m..mom's cemetery. Just d...drive," I murmured to myself.

I reversed slowly, glancing to my right. The Robinson's car wasn't there anymore. The school parking lot had no signs of living life. Only the cars parked in staff remained as I left school grounds.

I had enough common sense to stop at a local flower shop and buy a bouquet of lilies and roses. Driving 30 miles per hour, I reached my destination: Highland Cemetery. There were two other cars parked.

Grabbing my flowers, I exited the car and entered the gates. While looking for my mother's tombstone, I couldn't help but notice how some graves had no flowers or signs that anyone visited them. I instantly felt sorry for myself. I hadn't visited my mom ever since we lowered her to the ground.