Life with Tunechi: Third book

Chapter 7

I don't know how long I stayed crying on the bathroom floor before I finally picked myself up. I walked to my dresser slipping into a white tank top and a pair of cheetah pj shorts. I glanced toward the glass doors leading out on the balcony. Wayne was still sitting just as I left him, head buried in his hands. I sighed walking out and grabbing my phone. The case was still on but the screen was shattered. I ran my finger over the glass jerking it back as I felt a shard of glass stick in my finger. Sticking my finger in my mouth I looked up and saw Wayne watching me. His eyes were rimmed in red, the pain radiating off him could only be matched by my own. I sighed, I wanted to walk over to him and punch him in his face, but at the same time I wanted to wrap him in my arms and tell him it would be OK. I wanted to hate him so bad, but I didn't, I still loved him.

I walked past him leaning on the rail staring at the moons reflection off the water. I heard Wayne move his chair to face me. "You leaving?" I shrugged. Wayne was quiet a minute. "Do you want me to leave?" Again I shrugged not saying a word, I heard Wayne sigh. "Are we over?" I turned around looking at him. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Wayne closed his eyes and I wondered if he would ever speak. "I was afraid you would leave me." I bit my lip, "It all makes sense now, everything. If you have anything else you been hiding from me get it out now." Wayne shook his head. "That was a mistake I made, it only happened that one time. I was so fucked up the whole night is a blur, I know its no excuse." I sighed turning back around. "Here, did you bring her to our home?" I wiped the tears that had returned. "No." I turned back around starring at Wayne. "She's been holding this over your head hasn't she?" Wayne nodded and when he looked up at me I though he was about to cry. My heart ached to hold him, Wayne never let his feelings show.

My brain didn't know what to do, I was at war with myself. "I'm going downstairs to make coffee, you want some?" Wayne nodded, "yeah I'm going to roll a blunt then I'll be down." As I walked past him Wayne grabbed my arm. "I love you Maci." I nodded walking past him. I had just poured both of our cups when Wayne walked in the kitchen, his blunt was tucked behind his ear. He looked like a lost little boy. I handed him his cup and followed him to the living room. I sat beside him on the couch and he kicked his feet up on the coffee table taking a sip of his coffee. "I need to know Maci." I looked over at him reaching out for his hand. "We can try and get past this. I can forgive you, but I will never forget. I'm not even mad at you, my heart is broke." Wayne licked his lips squeezing my hand. "Baby I love you, I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could take it back, take your pain away, but all I can do is spend everyday you let me making it up to you. I've lived with the fear you would find out and walk out of my life everyday. I knew I had to tell you, I want us start our lives as a married couple with no secrets, no regrets. You do still want to marry me don't you." I let out a deep breath, I couldn't imagine not being with Wayne. "I don't trust you anymore." Wayne nodded taking teh blunt out from behind his ear and lighting it taking a hit. "Is that a no." I shook my head, "as much as I want to turn my back on you I don't think I can."

We sat in silence for a minute before Wayne looked over at me again. "Whatever it takes Maci." I took a sip of my coffee. "If it wasn't for Maliyah and Fallon I don't think I would be here." Wayne let out a breath, "if you left I wouldn't turn my back on you. I just ask you don't try and keep Maliyah from me. I love Fallon likes shes mine." Wayne wiped a tear from his face and got up. I knew he wouldn't allow me to see him break so I stood up grabbing the back of his shirt pulling him back to me. "I love you Wayne." Wayne turned wrapping me in his arms. "Please don't go." I nodded holding him. I think he needed me more than I needed him at that moment. When Wayne looked back up the weakness was gone. I took a step back watching him. I knew he was already regretting that momentary lose of strength but I was glad he let his real feelings through, it gave me hope we would be OK.

Wayne sat back down looking up at me holding his hand out. I took it letting him pull me down beside him. He threw his arm around me. "We will be OK." I nodded leaning my head against his shoulders. "What dosn't kill us makes us stronger." We just sat their on the couch not speaking just being. I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up I found myself in the bed. I looked up at the ceiling really hating that I missed Wayne picking me up carrying me to bed. I reached out for my phone to check the time and didn't see it. I groaned remembering it was still on the kitchen counter, rolling over I about fell out of the bed when I saw it was after 1. I jumped up running to the bathroom before heading to the girls room. Both beds were empty and as I walked downstairs I saw Fallon sitting at her table coloring and Wayne sat on the couch feeding Maliyah.