Something Unexpected

EIGHTEEN: The Happy Pills

"I'm not wise, just a little more mature. Don't forget I'm about to be a year older in a month."

I nod, remembering that Serena's birthday was in a few weeks, and mines wasn't too far behind that. "True. Well then I guess it's settled. We're moving in with the Queens"

***

March 22, 2016 *

I'm sitting outside reading The Fault In Our Stars when Maya and Serena start screaming.

They weren't blood curdling screams that made your hair stand on end. They were more like excited Oh-My-God screams. My guess was that they had just gotten some good news.

Maya slides open the glass door and runs over to me. "We're getting adopted! We're getting adopted!"

It was good news. Well I guess I better try harder to seem happy about it.

"That's great!" I smile at her and give her a quick hug. Serena and Sally stand by the door smiling.

"They want to move us in this Saturday since it's Sarah's spring break and Oliver's family will be in town for Easter. Penelope is working on the paper work now." Serena says as she leans on the door frame.

"That quick huh?" I close my book and trace over the cloud on the cover.

"The Queens came down to Penelope's office to sign papers yesterday. So yeah, there's nothing really standing in the way."

"I guess not."

***

Later that day, I'm laying down on Dr. Ashes couch with my arm draped over my face.

"How do you feel about moving forward with your adoption?"

I frown and let my hand fall to my side. "I don't know. A little nervous I guess."

"That's completely understandable. This is a huge change for you. It can be a very scary and difficult adjustment period." Dr. Ashe says and she crosses her legs and clasps her hands together.

"I guess." I shrug.

"This Saturday will be your "Homecoming," and Serena mentioned that you will be meeting some people from Mr. Queen's side of the family. How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know." I shrug.

"Some of my old patients who have gone through the same thing said that they were nervous about the whole thing, and that when it came down to it—it was overwhelming."

I roll onto my stomach and sigh. "I mean I guess it's a little nerve racking, but I'm sure I'll be okay."

"I think you'll be okay, but if things get overwhelming it's okay to ask for a little space. Your adoptive parents surely don't want to make you uncomfortable. You just need to speak up for yourself."

"Okay."

"You're not very talkative today Alana. Are you sure there isn't something bothering you? You know, something that may be bothering you?" She asks.

I close my eyes before looking down at my interlocked fingers. "Our adoption isn't final. There's a chance that I can still screw things up."

"How do you think you will screw things up?"

"I don't know. I'm just afraid that they'll change their mind about finalizing our adoption once they see how damaged I am."

Dr. Ashe sighs and taps her tablet screen. "Alana, you aren't damaged. You may have a few flaws—but everyone has flaws."

I snort and shoot her an incredulous look. "I hardly think that being clinically depressed and possibly crazy is just a little flaw."

"Alana. How many times have I told you that you aren't crazy? Yes, you are battling a mental illness, but you can recover. Your prognosis looks great as long as you continue taking your medication and coming to therapy regularly."

"I guess it's a good thing you aren't too far from, my soon to be home." I sigh.

"It is convenient isn't it?"

I nod and Dr. Ashe sets her tablet down on her lap. "So tell me Alana, have you had any more hallucinations or strange disturbing dreams lately?"

"No." That's probably because I hardly sleep let alone dream. Plus, I've been extremely careful to avoid mirrors and other reflective surfaces.

"That's progress I guess. How about your other issues?"

Dr. Ashe reads off a list of the symptoms that admitted to having making me tell her if they had gotten better or worse. But seeing as I've only been on my medication for a short period of time, I haven't seen any major differences.

Afterwards, she gives me a few tips and suggestions that was supposed to help me get through this upcoming weekend. They of course all seemed doable, so I keep them all in mind as I exited the building.

Maya who skips alongside Sally singing Style, one of her favorite songs off of Taylor Swifts 1989 album. Serena takes quick steps to keep up with the both of them and I follow closely behind, with my hands shoved into the pockets of my jeans.

Looking at my sisters, I could see that they were both really happy and so far I guess they didn't pick up on my anxiety and doubts.

I guess the happy pills were working after all because I doubt I would have been able to be in such a "good mood" and hide my fear of what was to come.

♡ V o t e ♡

           ☆ C o m m e n t ☆

                                ♡ S h a r e ♡