Play my Clarity | eren x levi

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Just when he thought he would live a happy and successful life, it instantly fell below his feet and slid down the slivers and cracks of the earth down to hell and burned, burned so that that dream would never to be seen again. It was three in the morning and there was a half empty vodka bottle sitting atop the floor next to the piano and slightly vibrated as Eren's fingers slammed against the keys. His eyes were fluttering closed and his vision was hazy and dark. He was trying to keep himself awake, to play away the pain, to play something so beautiful so that it would reassure him that everything was going to be alright.

His shoulders were swaying to the beat and he played the dynamics like they were the most important thing in the world. Eren was playing Nocturne op. 9 No.2 by the amazing Chopin. Eren was obsessed with that man's music, mainly because it was able to convey many emotions and thoughts in different pieces. Other times they were angry, sometimes relaxing, then sad and sometimes even a mix of everything. At least, that's what Eren thought. He couldn't believe that he refused to play an instrument such as the piano, it was an enchanting thing and he felt like he was in the clouds every time he played it.

He was crying and he couldn't help it. Such grief couldn't be held in because that would be like filling a water balloon with fluid until it popped. Sadness was the water and Eren was the balloon and if he popped, he would die. You can't keep holding it in, you have to let it out and let your emotions flood the place like a giant tsunami. He was drunk and his tears were raining all over the piano keys. He was a cloud, he was the very storm on a gloomy day. His mother said she was going to be okay, saying everything was going to be just fine, but he knew that was a lie. The way she looked was too tragic, she looked broken and she was like a toothpick; she would snap in half if someone were to touch her.

He locked himself in his apartment, but he knew Levi was still waiting outside the door. After visiting his mom, they didn't go out to eat. Eren just ran straight to his place and played on hours end. He's been playing for almost two days straight (excluding washroom breaks) and he felt so damn empty inside. Levi was still softly tapping at the door, telling him to come out because playing for so long wasn't healthy. He was trying to tell him that there was a chance his mom was going to just fine, but Eren knew it wouldn't change anything. She was still sick. She wasn't going to be all healthy and glowing in just one snap of a finger. He knew it wasn't a cold.

He was extremely dizzy and his fingers hurt, they felt like they were going to fall off and he had the most ear splitting head ache he's ever gotten in his entire life. He couldn't breath properly. Eren had insisted that he stay with his mother, but she refused and told him he couldn't because he had to practice. Eren played his chosen song at least a billion times, there was no use for practice. She didn't want him to watch her grow more ill, which was a little thoughtful of her. She was in pain and if he saw that, it would make him hurt and ache and she didn't want him to. Little did she knew that he was in pain because he knew. He was scared of what news he was going to hear and what he wasn't going to hear. He was playing Divertimento in G major, Hob Allegro by Haydn, and the song sounded like some sort of ballroom dance. He played it with such loud dynamics that it didn't even sound like what it was supposed to sound like, it sounded like the very definition of hate.

Even so, he could still hear Levi's pleading voice over the noise he was making. He was hoping his neighbours didn't mind such loud piano music.

"Eren, come on," Levi said, loud enough for him to hear. "Please let me in. Play all the goddamn piano scores you want, but please let me see you. I need to see you."

"I wanna be left alone," he slurred as his head dipped from fatigue. "Leave me beeeeeee."

"I swear I won't stop you from playing. I just want to see if you're okay," Levi told him.