Rhythm of Music: Jonnor

Chapter 18

 If I'm being completely honest I wasn't expecting to get four comments but here you guys go, as promised. Basically I hate the first two thirds of this and then the last third is some of my favorite writing I have done in a long time, still probably doesn't make any sense though, so sorry. The song for this I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young.

The first thing I felt when I woke up in the morning was the aching that was present in the entirety of my body. My ribs felt as if they were bending with each movement, my head pounding in a way I didn't even know was possible, my legs quaked from the weight of my body as I tried my best to stand and prepare myself for school. Despite the fact that it was Monday morning and the beating had happened over twenty four hours ago this was the first, to my knowledge, that I had come to consciousness. The last thing I remember was the cold grip around my neck like chains and the screams of Jude. Now here I stood in front of my mirror, barely able to balance on my own two feet, trying to piece together everything that had taken place. As I stared at my own broken form in the mirror I was surprised to see that the only marks on my body that you could see with clothes on were the faint grip marks of a hand present on my neck.

"You so much as raise your hand and let your stomach show at school and it'll be a lot worse." My father's booming voice said as he stood with broad shoulders in the doorway of my bathroom.

It took everything I had in me to not shudder under his gaze and hide my body from any further beatings. Even if I can't remember exactly how the last twenty four hours had gone things were starting to come back and they scared the living hell out of me. Remnants of my eyes slipping shut and my mind beginning to black itself out as I struggled for any bit of oxygen were fighting their way to the forefront of my brain. I could barely recall the iron grasp loosening from my neck and the grunt as a fist hit my father atop the head, then of course to follow that was a shriek from a boy I cared so deeply about.

"Connor look at me!" Said the cringe worthy voice.

I turned my head but kept my eyes down just enough to avoid the blood curdling stare of my dad.

"Say it, just like I told you to last night."

My dad's reminder was enough to send another flashback of memories flooding through my brain. I recalled Jude's body being thrown on the ground and then him running out because that's what I was yelling for him to do. I remembered the slaps across the chest, and the kicks to the stomach and rib cage as the words of faggot rang through the house. I remember that one final punch to my head had been delivered and I had blacked out until the next morning. Luckily enough for me nothing had happened yesterday morning or afternoon, it was the evening I had to fear. I don't know if the reason I didn't remember immediately was because I was trying to block it out or if because the slaps and punches had caused me to forget. What I do know is that my father came into my room and in an eerie quiet sat on my bed before cleanly slapping me across the face and demanding one thing of me.

"Admit it." He almost whispered.

"Admit what?"

"Say that you were lying and just stupid, tell me the truth that you are straight, you like girls."

"I don't like girls, I'm gay dad."

Slap.

"No you aren't! You're lying!"

"I'm not lying when I say that I'm gay!"

Slap.

"Dammit Connor say that you're straight!"

"I'm not though!"

Slap.

"Fuck! Boy when will you get it?!"