now - chapter sixteen

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all I know since yesterday is
everything has changed

I woke up and instantly my heart sank, my eyes already clouding with tears

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I woke up and instantly my heart sank, my eyes already clouding with tears. I clicked my phone on, hoping that somehow I had miscounted the days or maybe I had even slept through it, but no.

It seemed to get harder and harder every year

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It seemed to get harder and harder every year. People always said that time healed, but in this case, it was the opposite. Every year, my heart felt heavier and heavier as reality seemed to sink in.

I sat in my bed for a few minutes, just crying. Not sobbing, not even making a sound. Tears fell down my cheeks and onto my comforter below me, but not a single sound came from my lips.

Trying to get out of bed was the worst. My whole body felt a million times heavier, my blood filled with lead. It took all my strength to swing my legs over the side of my bed, placing my feet on the floor. I felt the chill of the air on my bare legs, the running shorts I wore to bed not doing much to keep my legs warm.

I leaned my elbows on my knees and placed my head into my hands, taking a deep breath.

After a few more minutes, I stood up, stretching my arms above my head before unplugging my phone and slowly heading downstairs.

I entered the kitchen and, unsurprisingly, it was empty. Grabbing a box of cereal, I poured myself a bowl and sat at the table, but I couldn't eat anything. Every spoonful that went into my mouth felt like it was immediately going to come back up.

Eventually, I just poured the uneaten cereal down the drain and put my bowl in the sink. I sat down at the counter and waited for my mom to make her way down the stairs.

She didn't come.

I clicked on my phone, checking the time.

I clicked on my phone, checking the time

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