This One's For You (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Chapter One: Promise Me

~ Four Years Ago~

The smell of salt water filled my nostrils as we walked down the beach. Our feet sunk in the sand as we slowly walked, the waves rolling up and down the beach front. I treasured moments like this, because I never knew when they would come to an end. But this moment? I never wanted it to end, because I knew that when it was all over, it would mean the end. The end of my trust, of my love, and of my happiness.

I looked at Dallin, his beanie covering his bald head. He was smiling, something he hasn't done a lot in a long time; since we first found out about the leukemia. He was terminal; no procedure, no treatment could save him. This was his last request of me, to drive him out to the beach to enjoy it one last time. The doctors said it could be any day now, but I would never be ready to lose him.

He turned his head and his green eyes looked into mine, his smile was big, happy. We stopped in the sand, our feet sinking little by little as the waves rolled over them. He watched the sun set over the ocean water, his eyes reflecting what he saw. He then looked at me, his eyes pleading for us to stay just a little while longer. I shook my head yes, receiving another smile.

"Blair?" Dallin finally broke the silence that fell over us a while ago.

"Yea?" I turned to face him, a small frown on my face. I was hoping he wouldn't ask to leave, the sun wasn't done setting yet, and I didn't want to end this.

"Can we sit and watch the sun set?" He asked, diverting his eyes and watching the water and sand graze our feet. "I'm starting to get a tad bit dizzy." He looked up, shame in his eyes.

"Of course Dallin." I smiled, easing the worry that showed on his face. I helped him kneel slowly to the ground. I made sure he carefully sat down all the way, sitting next to him so he could lean on me if he needed to. We sat in silence again and watched the sun set in peace as the waves washed over our bare feet.

He never wanted this. He was captain of the football team, he was a great student and all his teachers loved him, and he loved me, he always wanted to protect me. But he was my big brother; I guess that was always supposed to be his job. He never wanted to put any of it to an end, but with the leukemia taking over his body, he had no choice. Now he was looked at as inferior, because he always needed help of some kind. With the chemo therapy, it took a lot out of him, he would be dizzy constantly, and sometimes he would be too weak to do anything. He hated it all, but he didn't want to end it.

He had a choice. He could stop it all since he was terminal. He could end the pain sooner, he could choose to die. But he said no. He chose me over ending his pain. He would rather protect me from my aunt and uncle's harsh treatment, than do something for himself. In some ways I felt responsible, my aunt and uncle reminded me of that every day. Dallin would always look at me and go 'Blair, it's my choice. I love you, if I didn't I would have chosen the other option. It's not your fault. And I rather spend every last minute with my sister then gamble the chance of not being able to see you when they put me under'.

I would spend my nights thinking why him? What did he do to deserve this? If anyone should be doing here it should be me. I'm a bad student, I talk back, I get hit because I deserve it. Dallin should have gotten so much more out of life. Instead, he's the one suffering and slowly dying. Dallin would always assure me that this meant he had done the greatest he could have ever achieved, and now it's my turn to make something of myself.

"Blair?" Dallin asked quietly, his head on my shoulder.

"Yea?" I replied quietly, not disturbing the nice feeling that had settled over us.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked, his voice cracking a little. I knew he was holding back tears, so that I wouldn't cry.

"Yea, I can promise you something." I replied, my voice hoarse from choking back sobs.