XXXII

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Liam cradled Niall’s limp body in his arms desperate for signs of life, a breath, a flicker of his smile, anything. But none came.

“I love you…” Liam whispered over and over as his tears bathed Niall’s cheek.

Unaware of his surroundings Liam didn’t notice that his hands weren’t the only ones on Niall as he felt himself be torn from his embrace as steady hands worked to keep Niall alive. He sat beside him crying as he held on to his hand while doctors pumped air into his lungs.

“I love you…” Liam whispered over and over, hoping that Niall could hear him still.

Niall lay sprawled out in the middle of the hallway his shirt cut off as the doctors pressed the paddles to his chest. Liam cried barely seeing the events unfolding behind his water stained eyes, the electricity corsed through Niall as his body absorbed the shock.

Louis, Harry and Zayn held on to each other all surrounding Niall and Liam. Liam buried his head into Louis chest grateful for something to hold on to, but desperately wishing it was Niall.

The doctors lifted Niall on to a stretcher as the continued to shock his heart and body. They began to move as Liam and the rest of the lads chased behind, but soon doors blocked their path as Niall slipped beyond their reach. Liam felt his legs give out as his body failed him and the tears poured out even harder, he collapsed in the middle of the hallway in Louis’ arms too weak to even care.

“SHIT!! What’s wrong with this kid?” The doctor working on Niall swore loudly in the operating room. “He’s going into cardiac arrest!”

The paddles graced his chest once more as the doctor pressed the machinery against his porcelain like skin.

“Where is he bleeding from? Jesus, we are losing him!!”

“I can’t find a heartbeat!” The doctor cried as she searched for a sign of the babies’ heartbeats. “We have to get the babies out now!”

“NO! If we take the babies out now it could kill her!” The other doctor shouted back.

“If we don’t then both her and the babies will be dead!”

The hours passed by slowly as Liam, Zayn, Harry, and Louis sat in the private waiting room. Their tears all dry for the moment they had no more left. Liam watched Zayn as he fiddled with the shiny gold band now caked in dried blood, he wasn’t sure if it was Niall or Perrie but the idea that it was either of theirs made him want to throw up.

How was it that earlier today they were happy? Now that seems like a lifetime away and in this moment happiness is threating to never return. Harry signed, his legs propped up on the table in front of him as Louis rested his head in his lap, Harry playing with his hair combing it through his own fingers.

He couldn’t be here, watching them hold each other so in love, so desperate for the other when he was lost without Niall by his side. Liam rose from his chair crossing the room without a word, throwing open the door and leaving. The stark white walls a contrast to the darkness of his soul as he walked down the uniform hallways effectively getting lost.

Liam opened the first door he found stepping into a small room of benches. As the light streaked through the stained glass Liam found his place in the pew looking up at the giant cross in the front of the room.

“I can’t live without him… I will hate you forever if you take him from me.” Liam whispered at the cross.

“He doesn’t respond to threats mate, he has enough of those.” Harry’s voice rang out from the back of the church. Liam dropped his head not turning around as the tears began to fall once more. Harry sat beside him placing him under his arm the room abandoned except for them.

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