"Help me? Can you even help yourself? It's enough of a headache to get sick of thinking how to tell you that you're basically barren now, tell me, how would you help yourself now?..."
He trailed off suddenly. Ramona's stunned look was like a slap of sense on his face.
Evan watched as her stunned look slowly turned into humiliation. He watched as she stumbled a step back from him as if he had physically pushed her away.
Hurt. The glint of hope in her eyes changed into that of hurt's.
That raw hurt and the unbelievable amount of it sliced Evan's own heart apart.
Ramona was not looking at him anymore, her eyes dazed and lost of any hope.
"That's why..." She murmured in a broken voice.
She walked like a lifeless zombie into the bathroom and locked herself in there and Evan didn't stop her. She was crying, he knew but was too much frozen to make an attempt and get near her to wipe those tears away. His own inner voice only kept echoing in his brain with relentless regret - he had failed her. He was no better than Lucas.
Plopping down on the bed again, Evan closed his eyes for a second and waited the raging haze to completely disappear from his useless brain.
Then he took his car keys and left with his face blank and heart tearing apart.
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Ramona had been sitting in the shower since a long time now.
She was no more crying. Somehow, the water streaming on her head... cascading down her face blocked her tears. But it wasn't helping the pressure of pain, the slaughtering of her hopelessness a bit. As if a stone was pressed on her chest, she heaved for breath which were coming out in small pants.
Oh... only if she could cry, only if this pressure, this pain in her chest could be let out in the form of tears.
Her back was pressed against the cold, foggy shower glass. Shivering not for the cold, or fear but for the realization that she was worth nothing anymore. Only an object of disgust in Evan's eyes. He hated her now, she thought with a crazy chuckle.
Was she losing her mind?
She didn't care for that. She was already worth nothing.
She was used and abused, raped, scarred both physically and emotionally, broken in the worst way possible that pushed her into becoming an alcoholic.
And now she was barren.
Who would want such kind of a woman? No wonder Evan was so disgusted on her. And she had gone ahead and confessed her love to him when he just wanted to get rid of her!
Feeling so humiliated on her own worthless self, Ramona slowly laid down on her side. The drenched, freezing floor made her start to feel somewhat numb. The numbness seemed welcoming.
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The sun had set a while ago, with the darkness looming over everywhere... Evan noticed how much the process of the day giving way to night was so much faster here in this part of the city. The graveyard was as if eager to be engulfed in the dark of night.
YOU ARE READING
You've Got A Way (Completed)
General Fiction'We always say what's gone is gone but it's not, Evan. Past is always present. It's present in my memories, in my scars, in my nightmares.' Ramona's voice croaked. 'You're right, Ramona. Past is and will always be there but it's our choice to look b...
