A Fractured Lover (Student/Teacher)

Chapter 27

We had been sitting in silence for close to ten minutes now.

I had made us both a cup of tea, giving him some time to get his thoughts together. Even though I had never stepped foot in his kitchen before, I had managed to find my way around easy enough to whip up a quick couple of cups of Green tea for us. 

Now, that mug that warmed my palms and steamed up my face was the only thing keeping my nerves from being completely shot at his steely silence.

I sat a few seats down from him on his black, leather couch that was centered in the middle of his living room. I had already taken the time to observe my surroundings and there was one thing in particular about his living room decorations that stood out most prominently. 

His pictures.

The pictures that were littered across his walls ranged from him as the most adorable little boy with wild brown curls that I had ever seen,  all the way to his graduation of college. Yet, there was one undeniable difference in the pictures from the beginning of his life to the most recent photo. One crucial person was missing.

His father.

It was almost impossible not to notice the middle aged, handsome man with the same striking blue eyes as the man whom I was sharing the couch with was not standing in his proper place next to his wife and his son at his sons college Graduation.

You could even see the sadness reflecting in Nathans eyes in the photo as he hugged his mom to his side as the photographer took the photo.

"He died before I graduated university."

My head snapped back towards Nathan, startled as he finally spoke. His eyes were cast towards the ground and unreadable. His hands were clenched over his lap, elbows resting on his knees and I had to fight the urge to reach over and comfort him. My need to sooth his pain and torment was great, but it ultimately took a back seat to my dire need for an explanation to Silvia's accusations.

I deserved to know and I was going to get my answers one way or another.

"Were you two close?"

He paused and took in my question, his eyes shifting intensely back and forth on the rug that lay beneath our feet under the couch.

"For a long time we were," he answered.

"What happened?"

At my second question, I could see him wanting to shut down again. He turned his head away from me and towards a window. His eyes were no longer on display for me to decipher what he was feeling and I knew that move all too well. I had become an expert on the art of shutting other people out and I wasn't planning on letting it happen to me where Nathan was concerned. Especially after everything we had been through so far, after I had opened up to him and shed my barriers around him with Greg.

I refused to be left in the cold, dark corner of not knowing.

"Nathan," I said, scooting my body closer to his on the couch but not daring to make contact. "I don't want to push you. I want to be as patient as you were when it came to me telling you about Greg. But the cats out of the bag now and there's no going back. You have to realize that. Now there's nothing holding you back from letting me in but yourself. What possible reason could there be now to not tell me what Silvia was talking about? What's the worst thing that could happen?"

Slowly, almost agonizingly slow, he turned his head back to face me. His eyes met mine.

"You could leave."

"What?" My eyebrows creased in confusion.

"I was messed up, Alex. I did some things that I'm not proud of. A lot of things actually and I don't think I'd be able to handle you knowing what I've done and looking at me like everyone else does when they find out.