Paisley Marin's Diary

She wasn't saying "I love you" back.

2/07

Dear Diary,

Lacey and I got in a bit of a text fight. Towards the end this happened...

Me: I'm sorry if I upset you I just never thought you'd say that to me.

Me: I'm sorry.

Her: Yah well I guess I've changed

Me: I'm sorry

Her: I'm sorry for existing

Me: I didn't mean to upset you

Me: No stop I love you

Me: I love you so much

Her: Whatever

Me: Wait what's happening?

Her: No one needs me

Me: I don't understand

Her: That's what's happening

Me: No I need you

Her: Eh

Me: Lacey please stop talking like this. I need you. I do. I love you more than anything.

Her: You're mad at me so who even cares?

Me: I was just having a bad day. I'm not mad. I'm sorry and I love you.

Her: So am I. A person just told me they didn't want to be my friend anymore. It sucks.

Me: I'm so sorry that happened. But you're so amazing and it's their loss.

Her: *knife*

Me: Stop please

Me: I love you

Her: Stop what?!?

Me: Stop talking like that about yourself because you're so amazing.

Her: Okay fine. I'm cool, are you happy?

Me: No. Don't say that unless you really are. What do you want me to do?

Me: I just wanna help.

Her: I'm sorry I didn't mean anything I just said. I'm so stupid sometimes. I just got really upset with myself for a little.

Me: No it's okay. You scared me is all. I love you and you aren't stupid at all, believe me.

Her: Thanks got to go

Me: Okay. I love you. Bye.

I was really worried because she wasn't saying "I love you" back. So I told my mom and she called my aunt and I told her.

She gave the phone to Lacey and I talked to her. She said she was fine, just upset about that fucking asshole of a friend. (My words. She never cusses.)

I don't know if I believe her though. I'm really worried about her. That convo was so unlike her! I'm also worried that she's mad at me. I really hope not! I'm also scared for her!

And I'm scared for me too. The way she was acting is exactly what it's like in my mind most of the time.

But her. I'm thinking about her. I'm so worried.

Yours,
Paisley Marin