That Broken Boy |♔| Kian Lawley

[14]

I sat in my room with Ryley. I was editing a main channel video for this week, she was sat beside me at the desk writing in her journal and I may have snuck a glance at Ryley's paper before she had finished what she was writing.

(I know I've put this in a previous chapter, I'm sorry)

Inside my spacious bubble, no one can harm me with their eyes that are guns that shoot bullets and their mouths that are the triggers that kill you. Safe and sound is what I breath, staring around at the blank walls that are the canvases of my life. Pull back the curtains to show him what I've been hiding inside my mind. Knowing he won't judge me, I began to spill my secrets and feel comfortable around him. Suddenly, my walls were painted a bright periwinkle color and I knew immediately that he was the one for me.

In that moment, I knew she was writing about me when I remembered how she voluntarily kissed me and had told me she felt the same way about me yesterday, but she wanted to leave our feelings behind, she didn't want to believe them because she was scared.

Yet, I wanted to tell her that I will be diligent and there's no need to rush, because I won't leave her high and dry like many other people have.

I know she has a strong heart, it's written in her scars and behind her castle walls, she's hid her light because she is too afraid to let anyone in, she is scared of being broken repeatedly like so many times before. The monsters are no longer under her bed, yet in her head and just like when she was little, she needs to stare them all down, but if they come back around, I know she won't let them control her.

Maybe she has been fixed from the broken ceramic she used to be, someone took the time to superglue her pieces back together, but now I am stuck in the darkness and it's such a lonely place on my own, I need her to be my compass, so I will never feel alone.

She might not need me anymore, but I still need her to guide me home to the light and I need her to fix me like I have done with her, because little does she know--I'm broken, just like she was many months ago.