Oh, Phil

chapter sixteen

[A/N][ okay so I got over 900 views!! Thank you so much everyone for reading and voting as well! Ily ]

*Phils pov*
It was my last day in the hospital. Chris and PJ came to pick me up and gave me some fresh clothes to wear. Once I was ready to go I gave Chris and PJ a slight nod to show that I'm ready to leave. Although I did want to see Dan before I left.

"Guys, before we go...can I go see Dan?" I asked.
"Sure bud, take your time." Chris replied and PJ nodded.

We talked on the way to Dans room. I tried to avoid talking about the last couple of weeks so whenever the topic came up, I changed subject. Turns out Chris and PJ have moved in together now.

I smiled as we entered Dans room. I sat down next to his bed and took his hand in mine.
"Hey Dan, it's Phil. Chris and PJ are here too. I hope you wake up soon."

I almost said I love you so much to him but, Chris and PJ didn't know about our relationship yet and I didn't want to blurt it out if Dan wanted it kept a secret.

Then I realised what I was doing. I was holding dans hand...In front of them.
I immediately pulled my hand back and turned to Chris and PJ.
"uh... want to say something to Dan?" I asked sheepishly.

PJ opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a high pitch beep. My eyes widened as I turned to look at the monitor. Two doctors came rushing into the room. A nurse followed behind and ushered me, Chris and PJ out of the room.

"Phil are you okay?" Chris asked.
No. No I am not okay. My legs gave in as I crumbled to the floor. I was too sad to cry so I just sat there on the cold, tiled floor.

I watched as the nurse came out and down the hall in search of another doctor. A few minutes later a doctor came jogging down the corridor, followed by the nurse, into Dans room.

"I have to get out of here" I confessed. I stood up and shuffled down the corridor. Chris and PJ followed close behind. I had to go home. I had to be alone.

"Guys, I have to be alone right now, so I'm going home. Thanks for bringing my stuff though. I'll see you later at some point" I told them and then walked home.

Once I got inside mine and dans apartment, I lay down on my bed. I felt so numb and empty because I know that dans not going to ever come back.

I'll never see the beautiful pair of chocolate coloured eyes again.

I'll never see his dimples when he grins widely again.

I'll never hear his dorky jokes and the way he laughs afterwards again.

I'll never be able to stroke his blushing cheeks and brush the hair away from his eyes.

I'll never kiss his lips and smell his sweet scent when I hug him agin.

I'll never get to say 'I love you' again.

My eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Dans gone and I feel so alone. I love Daniel Howell so much and now he's gone. What am I supposed to tell the Internet? They've been bugging me for months because neither me or Dan has uploaded in months. Maybe I'll never upload a video again, Dan won't for sure.

Just then my thoughts were interrupted as my phone started ringing.

'H-Hello?' I stuttered, wiping away the tears.

'Hello is this Philip Lester?'

'Yes, why?'

'This is the London Bridge Hospital. We have some news regarding your friend Daniel Howell.'