Oh, Phil

Chapeter eleven

*Chris' pov*

I almost skipped to the door as soon as I heard the knock. I opened to the door to see Phil, obviously trying to force a smile. who can blame him? It's been the hardest for him after it was announced that Dan is in a coma.

"Phil! It's so great to see you" I greeted him. I hugged him and he felt unusually thin. I dismissed it and lead him over to the couch where PJ and I were sat.

"Hey Phil!" PJ smiled.
"Hey guys, how are you all?" Phil asked.

PJ and I looked at each other and nodded. We invited Phil round so that we could tell him that we were together.

"Phil, PJ and I have something to tell you." I said as I sat down next to PJ and took his hand in mine.

"We're together." PJ finished.

A shocked expression flew over Phils face but then he grinned and squealed.

"I knew it! I always knew you two would get together at some point." Phil giggled, poking his tongue out of the side of his mouth as he did so.

PJ and I joined in with the laughter. We then started talking about mine and PJs relationship. We made sure to not miss out any details. Then we finally decided to order pizza!

PJ and I had already chosen our orders, (we are sharing a large pizza, relationship goals af), but Phil was still yet to choose.

Phil finally chose a small margarita pizza but, when the delivery guy came, Phil hardly touched his food. He hadn't even eaten half a slice, which was totally unlike him.

"Phil why aren't you eating?" I asked

"I'm uh... not hungry."

"Dude, you haven't eaten all day and you look like a skeleton! you need to eat."

Phil frowned but took a bite out of his pizza.

*Phils pov*

The pizza tasted so good, I actually wanted to eat it. All of it. I hadn't eaten in months, never mind all day. It was good to eat. I took another bite, and another, and another. It was so good, I couldn't help myself.

Soon enough I had finished the pizza and I felt stuffed. I felt fat. I felt gross.

No, don't think like that.

Fat, gross, disgusting.

Stop it

FAT, GROSS, DISGUSTING.

STOP.

I shook my head and frowned in disgust at myself. There's a war going on in my head and there's no way that I can stop it. I want it to end.

End...

I know what I have to do for it to end.

"Guys I have to go, bye" I said to PJ and Chris before leaving their apartment without letting them say goodbye back.

I jogged back to mine and Dans apartment and stepped inside. I walked into Dans room looking for it. I looked in his drawers, shelves, and even under his pillows. I looked everywhere in his room but couldn't find it.

I then walked to the bathroom and looked in there. I almost emptied out all of the cupboards until I saw it.

The blade Dan has used so many times to relieve his pain. I took it and without thinking I dug it deep into my skin.

I dug deeper and deeper with every cut. I watched as the blood flowed down my arms. I cut in all directions, all over my arms.

I soon started to feel dizzy, probably from blood loss and because I haven't eaten anything for a month except for today. I tried to stand up, but instantly fell to the floor, banging my head against the bathtub as I fell.