For the next three weeks I was a wreck. I made myself completely numb. I stopped doing all work at school. I talk to no one. My headphones never leave my ears. I don't talk to teachers, Beth, Tiffany or Thomas, doctors, no one. I just gave up. I just gave in. I lost.
Tiffany yells at me so much. I just ignore her and leave the room. I may sound like a bitch, but I can't do it anymore. I'm too broken and I don't want them to try and fix me. They don't deserve that. They never deserved someone as broken as me.
February Fourth. Friday. I'm getting ready for school. I'm wearing a long sleeve black v-neck shirt, a short gray skirt, black boots that stop at my knees and a sky blue scarf. I put my headphones in and let Bring Me The Horizon's song Chelsea Smile flood my ears. I grab my backpack and walk out. "Have a great day Lucy." Tiffany tells me as I walk out the door
I just ignore her. It's better this way. I'm better alone. I will always be alone. No matter what. "Lucinda! Hey! Lucinda!" I hear someone call my name
I look around to see that Zane guy. He's driving a beautiful red ferrari. I pull out my headphones and say "Hey."
"Want a ride?" He asks me
"Uh, no thanks."
"Oh, come on. It's freezing. I can't let a beautiful girl like you walk to school. Especially not alone."
"That's sweet, but I kinda like walking."
He parks his ferrari and gets out with his backpack. "I guess I'm walking then." He says
"You really don't have to do that." I tell him
"I always drive to school. Besides I'd be a complete idiot to pass up a way to talk to the prettiest girl in school."
"Um, thank you?" I blush. Which is something I haven't done in a while.
"So uh, Lucinda why aren't you talking? Like at all?" He asks me out of curiousity
"I'm having trouble finding myself. As crazy as that sounds."
"I get it. You've been through alot."
"Yeah..."
We walk to school in silence. Once I get there I tell Zane bye and I walk to class. I sit down by myself and just listen to the thoughts around me. I close my eyes and let myself just drown in them. 'I can't believe Valentine's Day is almost here!', 'The dance! Oh, my gosh! I can't believe I forgot! What am I going to wear?', 'I really wanna asks Breanna to the dance...but what if she says no?'. All their pathetic little thoughts run through my head. It's disgusting. Pathetic! And yet I'm jealous of them. Jealous of their normality. I can never be normal like them. I was never normal like them. Without or without mind reading I'd still be abnormal.
I open my eyes finally to see the other students leaving. I grab my stuff and start to leave when someone pulls out my left headphone. I look to see my teacher. "When exactly do you plan on doing something in my class Ms. Sykes?" My teacher asks me
"Excuse me?" I ask him
"For the last month or so i have watched you do nothing, but day dream in my class."
"Your point being?"
"You were one of my best students. And as time passes your grade gets lower and lower. Yes I understand you were in an accident, but you still have a future to look foward to."
One that I don't even want! I let out a aggravated sigh. "I'll try harder." I lie to him
"That's all I ask for Lucinda." He tells me
