huit ~ what are we even doing?

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"Oh my god Dan, what are we even doing?" I say as we enter our apartment after coming home from the police station.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do," Dan says. "We're going to catch that son of a bitch who made me think I was in love then ditched me for a guy with a gun!" normally I would laugh at something like this but I'm too worried to have happy thoughts.

"We're going to die!" I say and I can feel myself shaking. "We're going to take one step out the door to go find her and die!" Dan waves his hand as if it's nothing.

"Pfft. Living is over rated anyway, Phil," he says and my eyes widen with worry and I whimper to walk past him to my room.

"Oh god what am I doing?" I ask to no one in particular and open my door to sit on my bed shaking. We're both going to get killed. And for what purpose? I should never have let Dan sign that contract. This is just awful. I taste salt on my lip and realize I'm crying. I don't want the boy I fell in love with to die. I don't want to die. I'm so stupid. I should have never trusted that bitch anyway. Even if she did seem totally trust worthy. Dan opens the door and sits next to me and wraps his arms around me. Oh my god, he needs to stop making me fall in love with him.

"Phil, I was kidding, calm down, you'll be fine," he whispers in my ear giving me butterflies and I keep crying.

"I don't want you to die, or me, or anything to happen to us. We can't live without the other. Oh god, Dan I'm scared!" I say and nuzzle my head against his chest.

"Look Phil, I talked to the head officer when you went to the car, and we're not going to be doing anything too dangerous," he says attempting to comfort me. "All we're going to do, is follow them to where they think she is, and help locate her, while I tell them all her different tricks a schemes that I've taken from the two years of dating her." I look up in his warm brown eyes and he smiles wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Are you sure we'll be okay?" I ask and he nods.

"Believe me Phil, I wouldn't let you get hurt," he says and I smile sitting up. We just sit in silence for a minute. His eyes widen. "GOD JESUS PHIL WE HAD A CAKE IN THE OVEN!" we both stand up and run to the kitchen to open the oven. The cake was just a small black piece of crisp in the middle of the baking pan.

"I had no idea that was possible," I say as he takes the pan out and sets it on the oven. "You have no idea how lucky we are that the house didn't burn down." I laugh and he laughs too.

"C'mon, let's go watch Buffy until three," Dan says and pulls me in the living room. We sit on the couch next to each other actually kind of close.

~

"When did ten o'clock happen?" I ask and Dan shrugs his shoulders and lets out a tiny yawn which is adorable.

"God, are you sure it's ten and not four in the morning?" he asks in a sleepy voice which makes my stomach turn.

"Well, the clock says ten, so that's my guess," I say and he seems to scoot closer to me.

"I'm so tired though, that panic attack was exhausting," he leans his head down on mine so I can lean my head in the crook of his neck. Oh my god we're so close. I can feel his breath on the top of my neck and it makes me shiver.

"Dan? Are you going to sleep here, or?" he doesn't answer so he's already passed out. "Fine then," I say and snuggle into his neck after setting an alarm on my phone. "Goodnight," I say quietly. I swear I can almost hear in his breath him saying, "Night."

~

I wake up before the alarm somehow which was set for five thirty. Dan and I were still in the same position as last night except for my hands were resting on his lap. I smile just to myself. I've always wanted to wake up next to him. I don't really understand why losing the love of his life made him fall asleep with me on the couch. Honestly I think he's just confused with his life and wants someone he can be close to.

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