22: The Picture of Betrayal

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Nabitawan ko ang sigarilyong hawak pati na ang cellphone.

Natulala ako dahil sa nakita. I suddenly felt a pang in my chest when I remembered the image that I saw earlier. It was Chase, kissing another woman.

Pinulot ni Zachery ang aking cellphone at ibinigay saakin. Tinignan ko muna iyon at napaisip kung kukunin pa ba.

Huminga ako ng malalim. Tsk.

Pabalang ko na kinuha iyon at iniwan na siya. Naninikip ang dibdib ko habang naglalakad patungon parking lot.

Fuck is all that I'm saying while I'm on my way. Nang sa wakas, marating ko ang parking lot ay sumakay ako kaagad saaking kotse at ni-lock iyon.

Binuksan kong muli ang cellphone at pinagmasdan ang litratong ipinadala saakin.

I believe that I'm not a stupid person, but right now I am stupidly telling myself that it isn't true kahit na may mga panibagong litratong ipinadala saakin.

Iba't ibang anggulo ni Chase na umiiyak. On the other hand, the woman was beside her. Comforting her, probably.

That should be me.

Sunod naman ay iyong picture na magkahawak kamay silang dalawa at nakangiti sa isa't-isa.

I know that smile of his.

I miss that smile. I wish that he could show that smile to me once again.

Mayroon pa na umiiyak iyong babae at yakap yakap siya ni Chase.

Natawa naman ako at malakas na pinalo ang manibela kung kaya't nagkaroon ng malakas na tunog sa gitna ng tahimik na parking lot na ito.

I buried my face on the steering wheel and breathed deeply.

My heart is fucking aching like hell.

Then I remembered what Kevin told me na wala na akong babalikan. Kaya pala. Kaya pala wala na akong babalikan.

Narinig kong tumunog muli ang cellphone ko, sinagot ko iyon. Si Kevin.

"These pictures, is it true?" I asked him.

Deep inside me, I was hoping he'd tell me it isn't.

"I'm afraid it's true." Aniya. Mapait naman akong napangiti dahil doon.

"Kaya pala wala na akong babalikan? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked again. But my voice cracked.

"Because I didn't want to hear nor see you crying, or hurting because of him." Napahilot ako ng aking sentido dahil sa sinabi niya.

"And I know that you won't believe me." Dagdag pa niya.

"Why did you call?" Tanong ko sakanya.

"I need you to go back here, there are some important things that I need to discuss with you and Jasper." Napatango naman ako.

"It's about time, you know."

"Okay." I simply said and ended the call.

I sighed. I have to be strong. I need to be strong.

For tomorrow, I know that I'll see him there. I'll see them there. I need to ready myself kung paano niya ako pakikitunguhan. And I have to be ready for my decision. A decision that will surely change my life.

Nag-drive na ako pauwi sa tinutuluyan ko dito. Nakita ko saaking peripherals si Zachery na humabol ngunit hindi ko na siya pinansin pa.

I packed some of my things quickly, the moment I arrived in my place. I don't think I'll be able to come back again in here so I grabbed the most important things.

Fuck love.

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