Don't Let Me Go ~ A Carl Grimes Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Seven

We get home late. Rick comes to pick us up from Ron's. I thank Jessie and Ron and say goodbye to Mikey. When Enid says goodbye to Carl, all I receive is a cold grunt.

"What's her problem?" I ask Carl when we're safe, in the upstairs bedroom of the house.

"Who?" Carl asks, absentmindedly. He picks up his sheriff's hat and he kicks off his shoes, laying down on one of the beds.

"That girl Enid. Did you know she actually followed me to the bathroom, asked me why I was sick, then she insulted me." I ramble on.

"Um... Are you okay? Why were you sick?" Carl asks, worried.

"The food here isn't sitting right with me. My body isn't used to real nutrition. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, Enid was acting like..." Carl cuts me off.

"She just didn't know you. You're the only person I know to be so outgoing with new people. She's probably just wary."

"I think she was just a bitch, and I can't believe you're taking her side." I don't give him a chance to add anything and I storm out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I go to the next room where my mother is reading to Sammy.

"...'Oh no, this bed is too soft,' Goldilocks said..." my mum looks at Sammy and she's already asleep. She closes the book. "What's wrong, darling?" she asks, becoming such a peaceful mum, like she was long before this. When Sammy was a baby. "I heard you slam the door." I let out an enormous sigh.

"I don't even know. I got mad at Carl because he was taking Enid's side..." I start.

"Hang on. Enid is?" she asks.

"Oh," I say. "She's this girl, about my age and she was just so horrible to me today. Well, it felt like that. She was rude and wouldn't speak to me. She followed me to the bathroom, asked me if I was ill, and then made fun of the way I said 'loo'. She's from outside as well, so you'd think we'd get along, but we just didn't." I breathe.

"Why would she ask if you were ill? Did you throw up again?" I nod. "Well, I think you should talk to the doctor when you go to meet him tomorrow. Deana told me that's what you had arranged?" my mum asks.

"Um, yeah. I forgot about that." I yawn. "I don't even think I was mad at Carl. I was just stressed. In some ways, being in here is more exhausting than being out there. I have to be the one who's nice to everyone, and it's so hard. I don't know these people, and I can feel them all judging me, looking at me like I'm less than them. Carl didn't even try today, when this nice old lady came up to us today, cooing at baby Judith. He glared and stayed silent the whole time. He struggled when Ron asked if he wanted to play video games or pool. I was there. I helped him. Who's there to help me?" Before I know it, there are tears streaming down my face and my mum has me in her arms and she's rocking me back and forth like a baby.

"It's okay for you to feel overwhelmed, honey. You're allowed to feel like this. I'm sorry you couldn't do this before, and I'm sorry that you've been forced to grow up way too fast, but you're so strong and so perfect. You're doing your absolute best and it has kept us alive this long. Your sister and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and for that I'm so grateful. I may have lost my left hand, but I have my two amazing, brave, grown-up girls, and I couldn't be more thankful. I love you my little Kaity-pie. You always be my baby." I fall asleep being cradled by my mother as she wipes my tears off of my face and makes the pain, the worry and the panic disappear. I can't help but think how thankful for her I am too. She kept me alive as much as I did her.

******

I wake up before dawn out of habit. I run to the bathroom, have my daily throw up, I clean myself, then I go into Carl's room. He's asleep with his hat covering his face. He looks like an old-time cowboy. "Carl," I whisper in his ear, and he groans in his sleep. "Carl, wake up." I give him a little shove and he bounces up out of his slumber.

"Wha—," he mumbles, his hat slipping sideways adorably. I pick it off of his head and plonk it on my own. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say. "I wanted to apologize, for last night. I was calling Enid a bitch, then I was one to you."

"It's fine, but this couldn't have waited till breakfast?" he murmurs.

"It could have, but then we'd miss a beautiful sunrise. Get your shoes and meet me downstairs in five minutes." I leave him and head downstairs. I use the notepad on the fridge and write a note saying;-

Gone out for a walk. Be back by breakfast.

Kaitlyn and Carl x

I then pack a small bag with some granola bars, a can of peaches, a can of pineapples, and two bottles of water.

When Carl finally comes downstairs, I put his hat on his head, grab his hand and the bag, and I drag him out the front door. We go down to the pond in front of the house. It has a ledge so you can just make out the horizon over the high panels of the fence. "We're having a picnic, and you're going to keep that hat on. I can't have you changing too much too fast," I say to Carl. He gives me a goofy grin.

"You like the hat," he says. I smile and nod. "Why didn't you tell me you liked the hat?"

"I don't know, but the hat stays on." I say firmly. We sit on the rock ledge and eat our breakfast and watch the sunrise in silence.