Don't Let Me Go ~ A Carl Grimes Fanfiction

Chapter Eleven

(WARNING: Intimate situations in this chapter! Read at your own risk!)

The things Carl shows me, baffles me. There are deep scratches, like knives, on some of the church shutters. Then he takes me around a corner, and he shows me something else.

“YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS” is carved into one of the wooden panels on the church wall.

“What does this mean?” I ask him. “I mean, it’s clear what it means, but why?”

“I don’t know what it means, but I don’t think he’s a bad guy. We can’t all be bad, right?” he answers and I nod.

Rick calls out for Carl, then me. We meet him back where the scratches are. “Tyreese said you were out here. We found food, and a lot of it,” Rick says, resting a hand on my shoulder. “What’s up?” he asks Carl, who’s clearly preoccupied.

“These scratches are deep. Knives, or something. Someone was trying to get in,” Carl replies, pointing at the shutters. “And look at this,” he adds, leading Rick around the corner to the writing. “It doesn’t mean Gabriel’s a bad guy, but it definitely means something.”

I walk back inside and find my mum, who was searching around the church, finding things that could be useful, and making the place more comfortable for everyone. She found a basket, to be used as a make-shift crib for Judith, and she found a bundle of blankets. “Hi,” she says to me. “I see you guys found a lot of food. That’s great,” she says and she seems almost back to her old self. Smiling and happy. “I’m about to go ask Gabriel if these are going spare. Want to come?”

“Yeah, sure,” I say. I take a deep breath. “Mum, I’m worried about Sammy.” I blurt out.

“Really? Why?” she questions.

“Sammy did some awful things, and she told me. You saw the blood on her clothes, and you have to talk to her. She told me that she killed someone, and tortured another.” My mother looks taken aback. “Like I said, you have to talk to her.” I add.

We quickly find Gabriel and my mum asks him how many we can take. He tells us to take them all, so my mum starts dishing them out immediately, but she doesn’t say another word to me. I start to set up for dinner for everyone. Rick has the idea for a celebratory “banquet” for what we’ve just achieved, which includes, a bundle of paper plates, mixed and matched silver ware, a bottle or two of communion wine, and a range of canned and pickled food, so that everyone can choose what they want. I hate to become the stereotypical female who sets up dinner for everyone else, but I have nothing else to do. Plus, we’re close to nightfall, so everyone should be inside soon.

******

The atmosphere in the church is so lively tonight. Everyone seems to be happy and enjoying themselves. I sit and feed Judith pieces of carrots, soft enough for her to eat. I pass Judith to Rick who holds his arms out for her. Abraham stands up and starts to speak. “I’d like to propose a toast. I look around this room and I see survivors, each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors,” he says, raising his glass.

“To the survivors!” someone shouts. There’s a quiet moment.

“But is that all you wanna be? Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? You can do that. I mean you got the strength, you got the skill. Thing is, for you people, what you can do is just surrender. And we can get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad take away from a little road trip. Eugene, what’s in DC?” he asks. Eugene starts to speak but I don’t listen. I see Carol sneaking out the door. And then I see Carl do the same. As I’m about to follow Carl, I tune back into the conversation. “—come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don’t got nothing left to do but survive.” I see a few nods and smiles around the room.

There’s a long pause, then Judith makes a noise. “What was that?” Rick smiles, and so does everyone else in the room. “I think she knows what I’m about to say. She’s in. If she’s in, I’m in. We’re in.”

Everyone starts celebrating again, and I see Sammy yawning. I walk over to her and I pick her up. It feels like she weighs next to nothing. I take her to her temporary sleeping area, and I lay her down. I’m about to leave her but she grabs my hand. “Sing to me?” she asks quietly.

“What do you want me to sing?” I ask.

“The one about the fast car,” she says, and I know what song she means.

“You got a fast car, I wanna ticket to anywhere.

Maybe we can make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere.

Any place is better, starting from zero, got nothing to lose.

Maybe we’ll make something, me, myself, I got nothing to prove…” I start.

By the time I’ve finished the song, Sammy is sound asleep but has an iron grip on my fingers. As I pry our hands apart, I hear some clapping behind me. I turn and see Carl standing in the doorway. “Wow,” he says. “You sound amazing. Come with me. I have something to show you.” He takes my hand and leads me away.

******

“Keep your eyes closed. No peeking!” Carl instructs.

“I’m not peeking!” I say.

“Okay, a step up here… and then another and… open your eyes!” he says. I look around and see that I’m on the church bus. There’s a candle on every seat.

“Carl! What did you do?” I ask, astonished.

“Well, we’ve never actually had a date. There’s more,” he says, ushering me further up the bus, blowing out candles as he goes. Saving resources, I suppose. There’s a glow from the back of the bus, and I see that he’s spread out a blanket, and lit candles and laid out some food. He sits down on the blanket and pats the space beside him. I sit down next to him, speechless.

“Wow, Carl. How’d you manage to swing this?” I ask. He taps the side of his nose and smiles that perfect smile.

“I have my ways. Now, what do you want to eat? We have peas, sweetcorn, carrots, corned-beef and spaghetti hoops.” I pick what I want to eat, and we talk and laugh.

“I love you, Kaitlyn. I really do. I haven’t ever felt this way about anyone before,” Carl says. I smile at him.

“I love you too, Carl.” I lean in and kiss him.

A hunger takes over me, one I’ve never felt before. Carl kisses my jaw, sucking lightly and a moan escapes my lips. I start to unbutton his shirt as he kisses my neck. I nibble on his ear. This time he stops me. He looks at me.

“Are you sure?” he asks timidly. I nod and I take my own shirt off.