Fifty Broken Shades (TMNT sequel)

Chapter Four

A few weeks passed, with little going on.
I rarely spoke to anyone, because that's how it was supposed to be. I couldn't even text Donnie, it would be too risky.

Thanksgiving was coming soon, and Raph told me I was hosting this year. Which meant I had to invite everyone.. various relatives, but mainly close ones. I also had to invite Mikey, being that he was marrying into the family.. but what about Donnie? Would it seem.. weird?
Would my relatives suspect something? I couldn't invite him. Just couldn't.

Yeah, I'd messed up having a little fling with him on his birthday. I knew how much of a sin it was to take what wasn't mine like that, but I didn't care.

So that's why, the morning after his birthday, when I woke up and saw him sleeping peacefully, cuddling into my side, and heard his phone ring- I realized I couldn't live in this paradise. It was just an oasis in the desert for me. That morning, I'd just smiled down at him, hoping he wouldn't wake for awhile. But his phone rang once, twice, three times, before he finally opened his eyes and answered it, motioning for me to be quiet. "Hello Christopher.." He said, rubbing his eyes.
I didn't have to be near the phone to hear what the guy was saying. "Where are you?!" His voice shouted.
Donnie flinched. "I'm sorry I just woke up.. went to dinner with my brother last night and had to stay in a hotel because I was tired-"
"Tired? That's bull! Why haven't you been answering your phone?!"
He sighed, about to get up. "Listen. I'll be home in a couple hours. Don't yell at me like that again. I had my phone on me the entire time, and guess what? It never rang until this morning. So don't be getting on me about not answering the phone." He hung up.
I looked at him, his eyes were dark.
"For the life of me I'll never understand why you leave me and go to a guy even worse than I ever was."
He stood and looked out the window for a while. "You weren't like him but you never let me see the real you. And that hurt. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be let into your secret world."
I shook my head, standing up and put on my bathrobe. "I tried to tell you but my past is so dark, I didn't want to burden you."
He took my hands and looked me in the eyes. "And I didn't care. I wanted to know you. I wasn't looking at your money, your reputation, who you were five minutes before I met you. All I saw was how you chose to be at that time."
I couldn't look away.
"Didn't all that bother you..? My past.. the things I do to people- what I did to you.."
He sighed. "I didn't like it, but if it was what it took to keep you I was willing to do it. You are a good man Leonardo, inside and out. You just need to let it show."
I nodded and pressed my forehead against his. "Do you still love me?"
He squeezed my hands. "If I told you that, some rumors might start flying." He smiled.
I nodded and kissed him quickly. "So this is goodbye."
His eyes saddened as he cupped my cheeks. "Yes."
Neither of us moved for a minute. We just looked at each other. But then my phone started ringing. I needed to go to work.
And it truly seemed to be the end.
I walked him downstairs, somber. "So I'll never see you again?"
He said no. "Just the last time you'll wake up to me in your bed."
I finally let go of his hand and watched him go.

So that was several months previously, and now it was nearing Thanksgiving. Mikey and Raph's wedding was set for December 30th, just over a month away, and I didn't do any planning for it. I just knew all the details.

So the morning of Thanksgiving, Raph was over at my penthouse. Mikey was down near DC with his family, but he'd be there that evening for dinner. It was a rare moment that just Raph and I, him being the CEO of our company and I being the mayor of New York City- could just sit there together in peace.
"Did you go grocery shopping or send someone else to do it?" He asked as I scrubbed the counters.
"I sent someone. But I'm cooking this meal."
"Mmhm.." He mumbled, looking out one of the tall windows. "Is the dining room ready?"
"Uhuh.." I looked at him.
"And do you have a date for tonight?"
Oh come on, Raphael.
"No, I do not have a date."
"That's too bad, bro. You couldn't get Karai-"
"She has a boyfriend and she's with her family up in Vermont for the week."
"How come you and her haven't gotten back together?"
I glared at him. "Our relationship was a mistake, and we are just friends and that's all we ever will be. Got it?"
"Sure whatever. Just out of curiosity, why didn't you invite Donnie?"
I blushed slightly at the name. "Um he's with his fiancé."
"Leo when I came over here on Donnie's birthday the first thing I noticed was your face expression and I know that look you had on."
"What look?" I asked, naive.
"That "I just got lucky" look. Seen it before."
My cheeks turned pink. "Huh?"
"Did something happen between you two that day?" He smirked.
"Raphael.." I turned away to wash a dish.
"Well, did it? Come on, 'fess up, hero boy."
I sighed and hid a smile. "Yeah. Something did happen."
"I knew it!" He sat on the counter. "Did you-"
"Mmhm."
"Leonardo!" He grinned. "Having flings with people who are engaged to be married. Shame on you."
"Hey. I regret nothing."
"Did he sleep with you that night or go home?"
I opened the fridge, looking for something. "He stayed with me."
Raph just shook his head. "Bet if Chris knew about that he'd flip out. He's not very
friendly."
"I know," I sat down beside him. "I don't like him."
"Nobody does. He acts real nice around us but he's just snappy.."
"Abusive. Mentally a majority of the time. And I'm powerless to help."
He frowned and looked at his phone. "He wants you, he really does. If you could just stop being so quiet and mysterious he'd dump that loser for you in a heartbeat."

"Hm. Raphael, you seem to have forgotten what happened to me over the years. The relationships I got in."
"None of that matters anymore, bro. Start a new life. Move out of the city if you have to."
"I can't move away until my term is over. And after that who knows, maybe I'll go for governor."
"Maybe you shouldn't Leo. I don't think that's the kind of job you really need. Why are you so power hungry?"
"I'm not power hungry. I just feel like I'd be a good leader for this city, and maybe for the state of New York as well."

"Yeah but don't you ever want to settle down.. raise a family?" Raph smiled a little, like that was exactly his plan.
"No way, no way. I don't want children."
"Aw why not?" Raph grinned.
"Because I wouldn't be a good father, I don't want to pay for five years of a full time nanny, then thirteen years of paying for private school, then another four years paying for the college tuition at a university-"
"Well that's your opinion anyway, but I don't see family as a business investment."

~~
The dinner went as planned. Mikey was the life of the party, everyone was thrilled to have such a "sweet boy" in the family.
Of course, Mikey's grammar wasn't very good, and his table etiquette was badly failed, but Raph was happy. I sighed, content and finished eating. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be back in a minute." I said quietly and walked out.
Would every holiday go like this..? Maybe I needed to date again. I couldn't go on like this.

I went into my secret chamber, dusty, for it hadn't been used in a very long time. I don't know why I liked this kind of thing. It's all I'd ever known.
I looked around, I saw the blood stain on the carpet from that horrific night.
I'm a a monster and no one will ever love me.

I swallowed a few pills that were on the shelf and sat down.
Overdose?
Sure. I've done it before.
I poured out the contents of the bottle, counting seventeen pills.
I was about to swallow them when my phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Donnie. You have a minute to talk?"
I gasped a little. "Uh sure. What's up?"
"Well, me and Chris are coming up to New York for the weekend and we need a place to stay."
"Oh sure, you can stay with me.." I said glumly.
"Thing is.. I need you to not be there. Just me and him. So there's no awkwardness. Please."
I rolled my eyes. "No thank you. My house isn't a hotel."
"Oh come on Leo.. Please.."
"Nope. I've got family staying over this weekend anyway, I'm not asking them to leave."
"Fine. I was just asking because I figured you'd want to help a friend out."
"A friend? You spend a romantic day with me, leave and don't talk to me for months, and expect us to be friends? You led me on."
"Yeah I led you on.. why does this conversation sound familiar.."
We had a long pause. No words until he spoke again. "Oh Leonardo.. can you meet me tonight at midnight? Over by- Central Park?"
"Why.." I mumbled.
"I want to see you. Just for a little while. And don't swallow those pills.."

I looked around. "What?"
"You heard me. What are you doing back in here?" He stood at the door on the phone. I stood up quickly. "Donnie, I-"
He pressed his lips over mine in a chaste kiss. "Hi, friend."
I touched his shoulders, unable to hide a smile. "What are you doing here..?"
"I wanted to see my brother and of course- with your aunt being here I couldn't just ignore her. My fiancé is here just to warn you."
"Okay.. but first.." I peeked into the hallway, before pulling him upstairs, and then to the roof. He squeezed my hand. "Remember when I crashed your helicopter?"
I winced just thinking about that. "How could I forget. Costed a fortune and more."
"I told you how sorry I was.."
"I know. And you're forgiven for that.." I glanced at the door and saw his fiancé standing there. He looked very mad and marched right up to me, his lifeless grey eyes meeting mine.
"We were just talking, Christopher. Is that a problem?"
"You bet it is. You're holding hands." He growled.
Oops.
I let go of his hands and Donnie turned away.
He stood by Donnie. "Is this the same guy?"
"Um.. n-no.."
"Is this the guy you were with in September?" His voice boomed.
"Hey, leave him alone." I frowned.
"Shut the hell up, rich boy." He shoved me backwards.
I could literally arrest him for touching me.
"Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" I closed my eyes.
"Yeah. A male slut. Just like my fiancé."
"Take that back. This is your only warning."
He had no idea.
"Or else what? You're gonna cry?" He smirked.
"Chris, l-leave him alone and let's go.." Donnie said quietly.
"I ain't leavin'.." He mumbled.
And just like that, he looked at Donnie. I knew what he was going to do, and the last second I stood in the way.
He shoved me off the building.
"Leo!!"
For that split second, I felt like time froze as I was airborne, just to fall less than twenty feet before I landed in something icy below on the balcony.
Slipping below the ice of the pool, I felt my heart beat slow as my body went into shock, everything going black before I could make it back to the surface.