Dear, Runaway Groom.

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

"Mama?" Kumunot ang noo ni Vance sa tinig na iyon.

"Y-yes, baby?" Hindi naman siguro maaalala to ni Vance diba? Diba?

"Who's that?" Hindi ko pinansin ang tanong ni Vance sa sobrang kaba ko lalo na nang magpakita si Zienne na bumababa sa hagdan. Where the hell is Sunniane and Leaumont?

Dahan-dahan at maingat na bumaba ang prinsesa ko sa hagdan na inaantok pa.

"Zienne! Jusko." Natigilan si Sunniane sa kakatawag nang madapo ang tingin sa lasing na Vance na nakaupo sa sofa at pakurap-kurap ang mata.

"Hey, princess. What's your name? Come here." Napalingon ako sa anak kong iniimbita ni Vance na lumapit. Naramdaman kong tumabi saakin si Sunniane.

"Leaumont and Lennox are sleeping." Bulong niya.

A sight of Zienne with Vance is like a mirror. Hinahaplos pa ni Vance ang maalon na buhok ni Zienne na nagmana sakanya at si Zienne naman ay sa tenga ni Vance. They look so alike. Mukhang nawala ang kalasingan ni Vance at tumingin saakin ng may nagtatanong na mata.

I can't find the words I'm feeling right now. Looking at my daughter and her father looks so surreal. I pray that Vance is drunk enough not to recognize their similarities. Pero kahit ang lasing pa ata ay malalaman na mag-ama sila.

Namutla ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang halikan ni Vance ang noo ni Zienne.

"You're too cute to stay awake at this hour, sweetie." Malambing niyang sambit sa anak namin. Oh, Vance if you only knew.

"Yes! Shien will sleep!" Tinaas-taas pa niya ang kamay habang nagtatalon-talon. Vance laughed at this sight.

Humagulhol ako nang buhatin niya ang bata at pagewang-gewang na tumayo. Inalalayan ko pa habang pinupunasan ang sarili kong luha.

"Why is mama sad?" Ani Zienne habang buhat siya ni Vance at inaayos ang buhok.

"I'm not sad, baby. Go to sleep na daw." Tumitig saakin si Vance pero hindi ko masuklian ang titig niya. There's too much emotions to look at.

Wala na si Sunniane sa pwesto niya kanina at baka iniwan na kami. Kaya wala akong choice para samahan ang mag-ama ko papunta sa kwarto ng kambal. Lasing pa rin kasi si Vance habang buhat si Zienne kaya kailangan alalayan.

"Shien is sleepy." Bulong ni Zienne sa ama. I wonder why she's not struggling. Sa bagay, madali lang naman makuha ang loob ni Zienne at sa sobrang dali ay palaging sumasama kung kanino. Pero hindi umaabot sa magpapabuhat na siya.

Maybe it's their blood and flesh.

Yeah, maybe that's it.

Naramdaman kong natigilan si Vance nang pumasok kami sa kwarto ng kambal. Andoon si Lennox na natitulog habang nakatuwad na palagi niyang posisyon at yakap-yakap ang kanyang paboritong bimpo.

"A-another kid?" Aniya at lumingon saakin.

"Y-yeah. T-there's Zienne's bed. Pahigain mo na siya." I looked at the clock at it says 10:25. Late na nga ito para sa kambal na matulog. Too late.

Banayad ang paghinga ni Zienne habang nilalapag siya ni Vance sa higaan niya. Vance just can't get his eyes away from her, at nilipat ito kay Lennox na iba na ang posisyon.

"They're mine... Right?" Mahina niyang tanong. This is it, Penelope. The question you've been waiting for so long.

"Sa kitchen tayo." Tumalima agad siyang nang lumabas ako ng kwarto.

Hinanda ko siya ng tubig para kahit papaano ay matanggal ang sakit ng ulo niya. Sapo niya kasi ang ulo niya habang nakaupo sa bar counter kaya umupo ako sa tabi niya.

"Oo, the last sex we had, Nabuo sina Lennox at Zienne."

"Were you... Planning to abort them?" Nagulat ako sa tanong niya. What does he mean?

"Never did I regret bearing them, Vance. So did never telling you about it. Alam ko nang simula't sapul, pampainit mo lang ako ng kama. You never wanted to have kids with me as their mom. I understand. Kaya naman I spent my pregnancy in States with Leaumont--"

"You're with my cousin? Paano kung siya ang kikilalaning ama ng mga anak natin?!"

"Calm down. Leau and I saw each other again at the same bar we first met, the night we made the twins. Then ayun, we found out I'm pregnant. That was like 3 weeks after that night. After nun, palagi na kaming magkasama. And about what you said, the twins know about you."

Nawala ang kunot ng noo niya, "W-what?"

"Everytime you appear on tv... They cheer for you. They always look at your photos in our old album. They even forced Sunniane to buy your new album. Vance, I never hid the twins from you. Ikaw ang hindi namin maabot. At kung aabutin ka man namin at takot kaming malaman kung anong mangyayari." Nagbuntong hininga ako.

"Fucking.." Humalumbaba siya at hinawakan ang kamay kong nanlalamig at isa-isang hinalikan ang mga daliri ko, "...Jerk I am."

"Vance..."

"It must have been so hard for you to raise them both... Without me." Tumulo ang luhang pinipigilan ko. Yes, so hard that I almost gave up. But when everytime I look in their eyes, I can see something that makes me love them more because they're mine. Because I made them alive. Because it's the beautiful aftermath of my love for Vance.

Tumango ako at may naramdaman akong labi sa noo ko.

"Being pregnant with the twins was worse than being your bedwarmer. Palagi ako nakakarinig ng mga salita katulad ng malandi, disgrasyada, walang standard, easy, maharot, ahas, desperada at marami pa. I was judged worse than before. Gusto kong tapusin iyon sa paraan na itapos ang sarili kong buhay pero tuwing nagpapacheck up ako at nakikita ko ang mga anghel ko, sa tuwing nararamdaman ko sila na gumagalaw sa loob ko, nawawala lahat ng paghihirap ko. They're the main reason why I'm alive tonight. Pinaramdam nila saakin na wag isuko ang bagay na alam mong bahagi na ng pagkatao mo. The regret you mentioned, hindi yun tumama sa isip ko. The mistake you think we made that night, was the best blessing I ever received." Sambit ko habang hinahaplos niya ang tiyan ko mula sa likod.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Penny..." Aniya, "I'm such a fucking jerk, so fucking asshole.. Leaving you alone."

Umalog ang balikat niya habang niyayakap ako ng mahigpit.

"Those angels? I know they're mine the moment I looked at them. I saw me, I saw my reflection. Penny, I saw my blood in flesh! Fuck! Why did I ever leave? I couldn't find the reason why since I saw you again at that party moments ago. I killed myself so many times after thinking why.. Why did I let you go?" He gently kissed my temple, down to my nose, then my cheek, then he kissed my lips.

I felt that same 7th heaven again. A Passionate kiss from Vance is all that I can ever think of right now. But something's still missing.

"Tell me about them, Penny. All about them. I want to know everything about them." Nagbuntong hininga ako at hinayaan ang mga kamay kong magpahinga sa mga kamay ni Vance.

"Well.. They're born on August 7. Zienne's favorite color is blue, same as Lennox."

"So their names are Zienne and Lennox?" Namamanghang tanong niya, "How beautiful."

"Y-yes, Zienne Agape Prescott and Lennox Agape Prescott." Sambit ko.

"Agape..." Bulong niya sa sarili niya at hinalikan ulit ang mga kamay ko, "They.. They're not bringing my name? Why?"

"W-we are not married, Vance. And the last time I checked, having a child is the last on your list... And you're in love with Mavania." Hininaan ko na lang ang boses ko sa huling pangungusap.

"Hell with the past! Let's already get fuckin' married! Bukas na bukas, magpapakasal tayo. We love each other no--"

"That's the problem, Vance." Hinila ko ang kamay ko na hawak niya at tumingin sa baso na ininuman kanina.

"What--what do you mean?"

"I'm not... I'm not inlove with you anymore, Vance. Not anymore... I'm sorry."