Ghosts are a Bitch

Ghosts are a Bitch 13

My mother walked over to the bed and perched herself on the edge and patted the space next to her for me to sit. I walked to the bed cautiously and seated myself on it. "Why are you here mom?..." I asked her.

"You are in need of my help sweet child," she started. "The only way to achieve what you wish is to let go... There is no other way, you must let go." She looked at me and smiled. "Be with me for the rest of eternity my sweet child."

As she said this, I could see her begin to turn transparent. "Mom no! Don't leave me again!" I cried out to her, but all I could hear her say was let go over and over again. When she was completely gone, I collapsed onto the bed and cried once again, miraculously since I thought I didn't have any tears left.

There seemed to be no aspect of time where ever I was. I have no idea how much time had passed, but when I looked up I must have jumped 10 feet high because I saw that little girl that I have been seeing recently standing at the foot of the bed. She was staring at me and I stared back at her, fully seeing her since she actually had her hood down and I could see her face. "Hi," she said which caused me to jump once again.

"Um, hi," I said to her startled that she actually addressed me directly and I heard her.

Her face lighted up at the sound of my voice directed at her. "You can hear me?"

"Well yeah. You are standing right in front of me aren't you?"

"Yes, but I have been trying to talk to you for days. I'm sorry if I have been scaring you, I just needed you to acknowledge me."

"But why?" I asked curiously, mentally kicking myself for talking to a ghost.

"Because you need to get a hold of yourself or else I go away forever."

"Who are you exactly?" God, I sound so stupid. I swear if anyone saw me they'd think I'm crazy.

"Oh, I thought you'd recognize me. I'm you; well definitely not who are now, but who you were before," she said like it was nothing. Judging by the clueless expression on my face she elaborated more. "When mom died, the part of you that was happy and bubbly, died because you allowed the depression from losing her to get to you. Therefore, I got sent away, "died" if you will, and now since the happy part of you is gone, this is what has become of you," she finished and gestured to me.

I had no idea what to say to all of that. At first, I didn't want to even consider what she said, but the more I looked at her I saw it. I saw the straight blonde hair, the dark blue eyes, everything. I know she knew that I was figuring it out as realization crossed my face and she smiled. "You don't have to be like you are right now you know... You can go back to being happy. You just need to let go of what happened and accept that she is gone. I heard what she said to you earlier... But you can't listen to her. She wants you to stay with her, to die, and never wake up. Is that what you want? To die and never see the people that love you most in the real world?"

"Of course I want to see them again , but what about mom?" I questioned.

"Don't think about her. It's not your time to go yet. Just think of Damon, Jackie, Zander. Those are the people you need to live for." And with that, she vanished. I had no idea what to do, or how long I was sitting in that room, but eventually I felt myself being pulled and the blinding light returned.

There was still darkness, but it was a different kind of darkness. I could hear voices in the form of a whisper and I could hear the sound of a machine beeping. Slowly but surely, the complete darkness behind my eyelids began to lift and I could see the light from behind them. My fingers in my right hand twitched and not a second after, I felt a warm hand around mine and the room went silent. Someone that was close to me kept whispering come on to them self.

It seemed like a long time until I felt the heavy feeling on my eyelids lift to where I could open them slowly. As I opened my eyes I saw the white walls in the room and a few people standing in it. Before I even had a chance to see who was in the room, I was captured in a big hug, well as big as it could be with me in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. There was only one person who had ever held me in an embrace like that. "Hey Z," I croaked, my voice hoarse from not being used in God knows how long.

"I can't believe you are ok..." he whispered in my ear.

He didn't let go of me for several minutes and when he finally did, I looked around the room and saw that the people that were there before, had gone. "Where did those people go?" I questioned."

"I told Jackie and Shane that when you woke up, I wanted to see you alone. Much to their disappointment, they agreed." He had one of his hands on my cheek, his thumb rubbing it gently while looking in my eyes. "I thought I lost you Rikku... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't woken up..." he trailed off, his face falling slightly.

I tried to reach my hand out to him, but the IV coming out of my hand wouldn't let me. "Stupid needles..." I complained.

He laughed a little and raised his head again to look me in the eyes, resting his forehead against mine. His voice was so soft that I struggled to hear him, but it was clear enough what he said. "I love you, Alison." With that, he kissed my lips so lightly I could barely feel it. He looked in my eyes as if to ask for permission, and I nodded allowing him. His lips met mine once again and I kissed him back. This kiss was different than others I have had; it was sweet but eager at the same time, filled with longing and desire like it was our last breath.

I felt his hands in my hair holding my face to his and he didn't do anything but kiss me. I placed my hands on his forearms, since that was all I was able to with the restrictions I had, and let myself have this one kiss. I have been dreaming of being kissed by Zander, but he never made a move or anything and I just thought it was because he didn't want to ruin our friendship. I wondered why now, why this day, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter that I loved Damon, it didn't matter that I wanted to be in his arms right now, it didn't matter that I shouldn't be kissing my best friend. All that did matter was that I was here with someone who really cared about me and who I have known my whole life and understands me.

It was all over too soon when I heard voices out in the hallway, and the feeling of Zander was gone. I looked over at him and I saw how his cheeks were slightly flushed and how worried he appeared to be. When I came back to realization, I heard the monitors next to me going crazy and 2 nurses rushing in to look me over. After they got my heart rate back down to a normal level, they left and I saw Jackie rush in, Shane walking in slowly behind her.

Jackie practically pounced on me as she threw her arms around me. "It's about time you woke up you loser," she yelled with tears in her eyes.

"I missed you too Jackie," I chuckled and hugged her best I could. After she let me go, it was then that I saw Shane in the room. "Hey, can you guys give us a minute?" I asked Zander and Jackie.

They both nodded and walked out of the room, Zander lingered in the doorway to look at me before he left. I smiled at him and he walked out of the room, leaving Shane and I alone. I managed to sit up enough so I wasn't lying down anymore. He walked to the side of my bed and looked at me with red, puffy eyes that could only be the effect of him crying.

"Rikku I..." he started but cut himself off. His eyes filled with tears once more.

"Shhh, come here," I opened my arms for him and he crawled into the hospital bed with me and I held him in my arms. I have never seen him like this before, ever. I felt so bad for him and that fact that I was only going to hurt him further by telling him that I can't be with him, only made it worse. I stroked his hair back and held him in my arms as he cried. Right now there was nothing to be said, I just let him do what he needed and if crying everything out was it, then so be it.

After a while, he fell asleep with his head on my chest and I continued to stroke his hair. Eventually I fell asleep with him, and let the darkness of sleep overwhelm me.