Why Me?(Third book of Call me Omega)

Chapter 60

He couldn't be just dead like that.

~

I went to sleep, somehow.

I was lying on the couch, and suddenly, I was a

I closed my eyes. My head pounded and my hands were sweaty. My breathing was irregular. I rubbed my face and stood up. I just wanted to rest for a moment. My muscles ached from sleeping in a cramped position. I swung my legs off the bed only to stumble and fall. I rubbed my face. I just wanted to die here. It felt so useless-

Victor.

What happened?

I could feel my breath getting quicker. I stood up quickly. He wouldn't be-

My legs felt weak. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to hear that Victor was dead. I closed my eyes tight.

Just one pill.

It wouldn't hurt that much- it was just to go to sleep and relieve pain. It was just one pill. My hands were shaking as I poured the pill into my hand.

Two.

Just two.

I swallowed them and shut the lid tight. I locked it in my desk again so I wouldn't be able to find it during my panic attacks. I flopped in my bed and closed my eyes.

I would be fine.

But the nagging voice in my head wouldn't dissapear.

just one more..

You've could of gone to sleep ages ago.

C'mon- don't you want it?

I grabbed my hair and curled up in a ball.

Shut up.

You could go to sleep.

No pain. It echoed.

Those two words made me fall into a stupor.

No pain.

I stood up from the bed and went over to the bottle of pills.

Not this.

I went to the cabinent and stared at all the alcoholic beverages that I had. A present, from many many places. There were even a few rare ones.

I didn't need any of that.

I picked one that was cheap and common, but one I could get drunk quickly with. I grabbed a tall glass, and filled it up to the brim.

I set my knife on the table and drank the whole cup down at once. The liquor burned down my throat. I poured myself a brimming glass again, and drank it divided by two this time. I picked up my knife and twirled it clumsily in my hands, cutting my fingers. I grabbed the knife and made long slits across my wrists, and poured myself another glass. This went on and on, cutting, drinking, and cutting again. I repeated this till I was completely drunk and half dead.