Take It Out On Me [Malum AU]

Chapter 32

Dedication: calbutt for the new cover.

This is probably the only time I won't consider spitting quitting. This gif is just so hot and I keep watching it. It's a problem.

Michael stepped out of his mum's car. He hadn't been living in his own house for so long, and he hadn't been to it in so long, that it now looked foreign, yet familiar. He refused to look over at Calum's house, though everything in him was begging him to run over there and lock himself in Calum's room for the rest of his life.

His mum unlocked the front door, and he didn't say a word as he made his way up the stairs and to his bedroom.

He nearly started crying when he saw his guitar in the corner of his room, and his fingers trembled slightly as his fingertips brushed over the strings. He glanced over at his bookshelf, where all of the notes Calum had written him were still neatly tucked into their folder, and the song Calum had written him was still on his desk. Everything was just how he had left it, but he saw it all differently now.

The guitar was now one from someone he would never see again. The notes were written by someone who would never write again. Michael would never again hear the beautiful voice of Calum Hood, or see his long fingers move effortlessly across the strings. He would never again have the pleasure of receiving those messily, but oh so carefully hand-written notes that were so simple, yet meant the world to him.

The thoughts made Michael's chest ache and his head hurt.

He felt numb, but at the same time like he wanted to cry until there were no more tears to shed. He wanted to scream at God for taking Calum away, and curse the sky until someone stopped him.

Instead of focusing on those thoughts, though, he picked up his guitar, then sat down on his bed and hesitantly strummed a few chords. It would be better to distract himself, than think of Calum. His distraction in that awful place was Evan, who was there for him, every night, whether it be a blowjob, or just cuddling and small kisses. It wasn't that Michael had moved on; he was just trying to hide his pain, and Evan knew that. He was trying to move on from his dead boyfriend, too.

Michael bit his lip and thought for a moment, then whispered shakily, "In the moonlight, you looked just like an angel in disguise." He rapidly blinked away the tears forming in his eyes and set his guitar beside him.

"Mum?" he called, going downstairs. He made sure that he wouldn't cry before he walked into his kitchen. He didn't need his mum trying to comfort him. "Where are Ashton and Luke?"

"Oh, honey, I don't think it would be good for you to go out right now," she said. She was sitting on a bar stool at the island in their kitchen, drinking something - probably coffee - out of a white mug. "You just got back, literally. Take a few days to rest."

He thought that was reasonable enough, but he still didn't like it. "Then can I at least have my phone?"

She hesitated, then nodded, and stood. "Of course." She was eyeing him warily, and, though it was annoying, he would, too, if his kid tried to commit suicide and just got home from being in a mental institution for six months. "Here you go." His phone was handed to him, and he grinned and thanked his mum before rushing back upstairs, plugging his phone into its charger, and turning it on.

It felt weird to be holding a phone again. He sighed as he went on Twitter, knowing that he had a lot to catch up on. All of his favorite artists had probably done so much that he didn't know about.

As soon as he opened the app, he saw a bunch of hashtags trending about singers becoming famous, and they were gaining their fame through YouTube. Michael always knew that people became famous through YouTube, but it was almost ridiculous, how many he found, as he scrolled through posts.