Juuzou suzuya

chapter 22

Ryū patched up my wounds for me and I put my shirt back on. She was quiet as she was doing it. She didn't speak, only occasionally making pained sounds. She kept having to hold her stomach and I could see that she was holding back the pain. As she put away the first aid supplies I looked at her "ya know if u keep causing pain to yourself you won't be able to feel pain anymore."

She looked at me confused. "What do you mean?" She grunted in pain and held her stomach.

"Well ya know how you feel all tingly when u get hurt. Well if u keep hurting yourself you will feel tingly forever and you don't have to ever feel pain."

"Oh you mean the adrenaline?" She paused for a moment then she looked at me with wide eyes "juzo! That's how your so strong and fast. It has nothing to do with your body. It's your brain. You always feel adrenaline! Your like a killing machine!" She frowned "but that's not possible. Unless some kind of brain damage made it happen." She put her hand up to her face, thinking.

I lifted my hair to reveal a scar on my head and smiled "I think that's what mama did."

She widened her eyes "your mom could have killed you! What was she thinking?!"

I looked at her blankly "does it matter if she kills me. She could probably find another human to use."

"Use?......what.....what do you mean use?" She looked at me worried as if she knew something.

I smiled "yeah! Mama gave me good boy points when I killed someone. Especially for ghouls."

She put her hand up to her mouth and I saw tears form In her eyes "juzo.......your.....your the kid that was found in the ghoul arena. You........you were raised by..........ghouls."

I looked at her "how do you know that? Were you one of mamas good boys?" I looked at her teary eyes. "And if not. Why are you crying? Shouldn't I be the one who's sad? Is there dust in your eyes?"

"Juzo! I'm crying because I know everything you've been through. It was all over the news. They didn't show your face though. I didn't realize they would put you in school. I thought you were in the hospital."

I stared In to her eyes "ryū your going to die....... Anyone who becomes close to me and cries for me will end up dying."

She sobbed and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh juzo! I'm so sorry. I'm never going to leave you. I'm alive. I'm right here. You can feel my warmth. I am alive. You don't need to see more death."

I stayed perfectly still not hugging her back. "Emotions will kill you ryū. You need to get rid of them before you get killed. Your not safe unless you don't care about living."

She kept hugging me and sobbing. She groaned from the pain but didn't stop hugging me. "I'm not gonna die. I'm here with you. We are together. Your not alone anymore. I love you."

I pushed her away from me and kept my hands on her shoulders. I stared her in the eyes "I don't love you. Leave me alone if you want to live." I looked up "but if you don't care for your life I can just kill you. I would be happy to. I wouldn't feel a thing. I wouldn't even flinch. You would die and the only thing I would care about is the carpet getting dirty." I looked back at her. "Do you realize now that being my friend is useless to you?"

She stared at me with a sad expression, tears falling from her eyes. "Juzo I love you and I know that you love me too."

I stood up and stared down at her. I needed to be blunt with her or she was going to die just like itami. Just like everyone I have ever known. I looked into her tearing dark brown eyes. "I don't love you. You have some fictional world in your head that you think everything will be okay and no one will die. You think I love you? Why would you think that?"