The L Word

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"Do you believe me?" Tom asked after they pulled apart.

No, Jen thought, he can't care this much about me. He doesn't know me that well.

 Jen knew that men only wanted one thing. One thing only and then they left. So why did Tom keep coming back? She didn't understand. She really wanted to believe him but she just couldn't. 

Jen hesitated for too long.

"You don't, do you?" Tom asked.

"I-I just don't know right now, okay." Jen whispered looking at her feet. 

"I don't care." Tom said firmly.

Jen looked up confused. "What?" she said.

"I don't care if you don't believe me because, I do care about you. I do care about you, Jennifer." He said, his voice rising. "And I will come here every day, hold you, annoy you, kiss you, and make love to you until you believe me. I'm not going anywhere, Jen." He took a breath. "Damn it, Jen I can't go anywhere. I...I love you, Jen." He whispered the last part.

Oh my god, Jen held her mouth. Oh my god oh my god, she started trembling and her eyes filled with tears. He used the L word, She thought.

She had to get away. She had to think and sort out her emotions. Tom just said that he loved her. 

"Jen," Tom started.

Without removing her hands she slowly backed away.

"Jen where are you going?"Tom asked her. 

She didn't hear anything else he said. She slowly shook her head and backed away from him.

Before he could stop her, she went to her door. "Goodbye, Tom" was all she said before she walked inside and closed the door. 

Tom felt empty. His heartbeat accelerated and his chest was aching. He tried to control his breathing as he all but collapsed on the steps in front of her door. He had to think.

What the hell just happened? He thought. 

~

Christine sat down at a park bench and put her crutches beside her. This park always helped her clear her head. So much was  going on with her and her best friend and she just had to process it all. Fresh air, the sun in the sky, and the cool breeze on her skin always made Christine feel better. 

She woke up that morning a little after Jen left. After she got dressed she left out of the side entrance of her dormitory since it was closest to the elevator.

Now she was sitting at the park and feeling like the opposite of the peaceful day around her.

Will I ever get over Jamal? Why did it still hurt to look at him? I haven't even considered Jidenna. 

All of these thoughts rushed through her head as she let the breeze run through her hair.

Lord, she prayed, help me out.

"Christine," someone interrupted her thoughts. 

She looked up to see Jidenna standing there in front of her. The sun was shining on him just right and he looked so good it made her blush. Suddenly all her thoughts rushed toward her again.

Really funny, God. She thought.

"Christine we need to talk." He said.

"I know," she said standing up on her crutches.

He reached over to help her up. "Thanks," she said.

"I was calling you all night." He said.

"I Know." she said.

"Why didn't you call me back? I thought you were still resting" He looked hurt.

"I couldn't." she said after a long pause.

"Why not?" he said.

"I just couldn't" she repeated

"Who was that guy?" he asked.

"Jamal." she said looking down.

"I know that but who is he to you?" He persisted.

"Jidenna I can't talk about this right now-" she said.

"Stop dodging the question, Christine." Tears filled his eyes. "Who is he to you?" He had already invested so much in this relationship; he could not bear the thought of Christine with someone else

"Don't do this, Jidenna." Christine whispered. Her eyes still directed toward the ground.

Jidenna paused. He lifted her face up.

Christine saw that his features were both angry and sad.

"Do you love him?" He said, looking right in her eyes.

"Jidenna I-" she started.

"I asked, do you love him?" he repeated.

Christine looked away again. She couldn't take his expression.

"Yes," she whispered. 

He pulled his hand away from her. 

"I love him." she said.

"That's all I wanted to know," Jidenna said. His tear fell and he wiped it away. Then he left.

~

It was difficult for Jidenna to focus on the road as he drove home. He was so angry and his heart was broken. Christine broke his heart. He let her in and she tore him a part.

 He knew she didn't do it intentionally, but it still hurt like hell.

He got home and went inside. 

He never had these problems before he met her. All he had to do was call a girl up and she would give him whatever he wanted. And he had so many to choose from. 

Jidenna mentally berated himself for not keeping alcohol in the house. He still searched his cabinets hoping he would get lucky and find some that one of his guests had brought.

He loosened his tie and wiped another tear from his cheek. He was sick of crying. 

Falling in love was absolutely pointless. He hoped Christine would realize that before she got hurt like he did.

"Damn it!" He slammed his last cabinet shut. He had nothing to drown his sorrows in. He pounded his fist on the counter and started weeping again. He wiped his face and went to the bathroom

Jidenna, control your emotions. He said to himself in the mirror. 

Then his phone buzzed. It was from Lily.

Lily: So sorry about the other day, I wasn't thinking. Please don't report me.

Jidenna: Its fine. I won't. 

Lily: Thanks so much, Jidenna. You're the absolute best. Maybe I could make it up to you. 

Jidenna: Don't worry about it.

Lily: I could come over. Maybe we could watch Netflix...

Jidenna looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red now. He needed a fix as soon as possible.

Jidenna: bring alcohol

He turned his phone off.

~

Hey everyone, 

Its been a while since I've updated. I hope this makes it up to you. I've been so engrossed in Scandal and another Jidenna fan fiction by intellectual212 called Risk It All. It is soo good. You should check it out. Anyways, things are heating up, huh? lol I'll talk to you soon. Stay classy.

Chapter officially edited by the wayy.

~Dallas Rey



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