Play my Clarity | eren x levi

|♮Bar 8 |

"Oi." He felt something poke his shoulder and face multiple times. "Hey, shit face, wake the fuck up."

"What..." Eren trailed off as his vision cleared up. "Oh it's you. Hello, Mr. Ackerman."

"Don't you 'Hello, Mr. Ackerman' me. It's fucking cold and you manage to stay out here sleeping. Thanks to you, I'm probably going to grow ill."

"Then why didn't you wake me up sooner?" Eren demanded.

"Because I have fucking manners and I know it's rude to wake up people while they're sleeping but eventually I had to."

"Yeah well people who have manners don't use such language," Eren snapped. "Whatever. Just give me my stupid notes."

Levi nodded curtly and handed him a bunch of paper with words scribbled all over them. Their fingers brushed against each other for probably half a second and Eren flinched as he drew back his hand; it felt as if his veins and had electricity flowing through them, going straight to his heart.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah but just head back inside before you catch a cold. I don't want you to cough all over me when you come over at my place," Levi told him with concern laced in his voice.

"I just realized now, but how did you get on my roof?" Eren asked and scratched the nape of his neck.

"I climbed. What else would I do?" he said with a small shrug. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mr. Ackerman."

---

That night, he was engulfed in his many dreams and memories, making him drown and dance into what he called his brain's wonderland. His eyes were aggressively moving under his closed eyelids, indicating that his mind was searching for a story to unravel in his brain that night. Levi didn't dream much but when he did, they were not pleasant.

His stiff and numb fingers grazed the piano as he felt a sharp sting burning on the side of his jaw. His eyes seared with unspilled tears and his pale skin was painted with cuts and bruises of red and faded purple. He was exhausted and his eyelids were as heavy as the burden on his shoulders; he hurt all over but it was the inside of him that pained the most.

He really was trying his best to play although he was suffering while he was doing it. How can such a hobby like this be like walking through hell itself? The eleven year old Levi did not understand at all, if something like playing your favourite instrument was fun, why did he have to face pain to make it perfect?

'Play it again,' she shouted. 'If you play like this, you will never get first place.'

His inner demons were screaming at him and for once they were on his side, their voices filled with such misery and sorrow that it would make any angel above weep out in pity. They were yelling at him to just give up and collapse even though it meant certain punishment from her.

Her.

Levi felt dizzy and the piano keys in front of him wouldn't stop spinning even though he mentally commanded them to. He's been wake for two days straight now and he really was begging for some kind of plane to crash right into his house and kill him just so he could get away from this situation. He was under water and he couldn't hear what he was playing anymore, the keys were heavy to press down on and his vision was fucked up. He couldn't breathe anymore and he just wanted to drown.

He felt another sharp smack to his back and yelled out in pure agony as he tumbled out of his chair, finally running off and finding the nearest place to hide from her. His feet couldn't even support him anymore due to the damage inflicted on them, he was crawling as fast as he could with his bruised arms and swiftly ducking into a closet.

Little Levi couldn't understand why he wasn't allowed to play outside with his other friends no matter how many times he asked her. She would always reply with the same answer and he was honestly so sick and tired of hearing it.

'You need to practice,' she would tell him in the most angelic sounding voice ever.

It just didn't make any sense. Why would he have to practice if he's been doing the same thing for so long now? He was forced to enroll into piano lessons when he was six and soon she taught him herself since she was a musician herself.

She was his mother.

'I'm doing this because I love you, Levi, I want you to have a strong and good future so I'm starting to build it for you now. This is it; your fate will intertwine with such a beautiful instrument such as the piano.'

He was crying now but he did not yell out or she would her him, he was curled up in a fetal position on the floor with tears streaming down his face silently. His hair was plastered against his face in such a matter that made him appear like a sick boy. Levi could still hear her screeching and calling for him and he just wished at that moment that he could die and get away from such an abusive life such as his.

I want to die, he thought to himself, kill me now.

She found him and that was when he went vocal, he screamed and yelled at her as she grasped him by his shirt and dragged him to the living room once more. She was angry and seeing his own mother angry was scarier than any catastrophe combined. He was drastically sinking back into the black whole of his nightmares and he couldn't stand it.

'Kids who don't listen to their parents are ignorant and selfish and would never have a bright future,' she bellowed.

He was clawing at her boney hands but was finally released when he was thrown onto the hard, wooden floor. The air was dramatically knocked out of his lungs and he coughed like there was no tomorrow. All his tear stained eyes could see was the ceiling and how cracked and chipped it was. He couldn't even remember what actual pain felt like because to him, it was now the norm.

His body was the canvas and his mother's fists were the brush and paint.

---

He woke up with a thin sheet of sweat covering his body and his heart beat was feeling as if it were gonna explode out of his chest. He immediately got up and brushed his hand through his moist hair as his head spun around to find his phone when he heard it buzzing. He swore loudly as he realized it was a school day and that the school day was almost finished. He was supposed to help Mr. Rutlee today.

He took a small glance at his phone and saw that it was Eren who was trying to reach him, probably wondering why he was even late in the first place. His shaking fingers picked it up and pressed the answer button.

"Hello. Ackerman speaking," he spoke, trying to sound as professional as he could but failing, making him sound drunk and groggy.

"Why weren't you here this morning?" Eren demanded.

"Worried about me, Jaeger?"

"No, but the girls and Mr. Rutlee are. Listen, I don't know what's up with you today but I'm coming over anyways. Bye," he said quickly and hung up.

Levi groaned as he tossed his phone to the side, hiding his face behind his hands and trying to find something else to distract him from remembering such a vivid dream.

---

AN:

aha this chapter is heavily inspired by the anime, shigatsu wa kimi no uso aka your lie in april

early update because i find myself enjoying writing sad stuff i guess :/

i hope you enjoyed reading and if you did, dont forget to leave a vote and comment! thank you so much for reading!

~Your Friend Takeshi