Feelings

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*Becky's P.o.v.* 

It has been a week now that they've gotten back together and that I've last communicated with Austin, I really don't want to talk to him after what he did to me. This week I've been more depressed than usual.. I don't want to get out of bed as soon as I get home from school, I've been questioning myself on why does he seem to hate my guts and that what did I ever do to him? I've loved him from the start. "Right from the start you were a thief you stole my heart." Alecia's voice sang in my ears from my phone also know as her stage name, P!nk, I roll my eyes and said,


"Perfect timing, thanks Alecia you read my mind." I sigh and paused the music to check my phone for a moment for any messages..... none yet not even from my friends on kik. I sigh once again feeling even more down and hopeless, I wonder what Austin's doing right now. No! Rebbeca Marie Gomez stop thinking of that selfish bastard! 


"Becky come eat!" My mother yells from the living room interrupting my thoughts but I ignore her call and went back to thinking about Austin and Camila making my eyes water up again feeling the stabbing agonizing pain in my heart again. I can't believe I was so stupid to go back to him after all that happened to us millions of times before, we are friends then we confess our feelings towards each other, we don't talk for a while and then we argue about pointless things that we think are bigger and more important than our love for each other. I don't know... sometimes I think he never really loves me, that he's just messing with me because of his hatred towards me that I have no clue why.


"Becky! Get your ass up and go eat I'm not going to call your dumb-ass up again!" She yelled as she stormed into my room. I sigh and rolled my eyes once again,


"I'm going or bring it to me so you can stop your yelling!" I said.


"Ugh!! Fine but you better fucking eat it or I'll tell your dad you're trying to kill yourself!" She yells before she walks out,


"Stupid." I say as I lay back down on my bed. I turned to my right and just laid there with my phone in my hand pressing play letting more tears stream down my cheeks, I never thought I'd be in this position because of some stupid guy. Becky you know he's not just a guy... he was your first love even if I wasn't his, he was. Now tomorrow, one more time, just keep faking it then you'll have a two day break. Keep fake smiling and giving him support, everything will be okay as long as he's happy. Before I knew it the tears on my cheeks dried and my eyes closed shut.


~.~.~.~.~.


"Becky! Becky! Rebbeca!" I hear the paparazzi come after us. I look beside me to find Austin with me, I smile at him and continued walking through some gates. Two body guards were behind us pushing the paparazzi away and the other two in front of us trying to get us home safe.


"Becky this all looks all unreal I can't believe you're famous!" Austin smiles at me holding my hand in my hoodie pocket. It was a cold night we were both wearing black hoodies for some reason, I'm guessing to not draw any attention to us.


"Yeah it's kind of hard to believe it myself as well." I laugh a bit as we continue to walk. It was silent for some reason and then I felt a little uncomfortable. I turn back to see a few people still standing there, but they slowly start to fade away.


.~.~.~.~


I slowly opened my eyes to find that my light was on and my mom was yelling at my sisters to get up and get dressed for school, I sighed and grabbed my clothes that I had prepared last night for this morning and went to the bathroom to change. I look at myself in the mirror, horrible. My face was just disgusting, everything about me was wrong and ugly. I thought back to the dream I had last night, how pathetic I am... dreaming of Austin like as if he didn't do anything. I look down to my sweat pants, 


"I'm really pathetic." I whispered to myself and began to cry silently for the hundredth time these past few days. After I got dressed I walked out to my room and began on my hair, I really didn't feel like styling it like I always do before hell starts so I just brushed it and put it all to one side. I put lotion on my face and left it like that, I finally just slipped on my converse. Before I grabbed my back pack I got my earphones and my phone, I didn't even wait for my sister to meet up with me so I walked out without saying anything. As I began to walk on the sidewalk I put my earphones on and played Dreaming of you by the famous Selena Quintanilla, I just hope one thing for today.. is that my feelings won't interfere with Austin's relationship with Camila and that I don't spill anything out about it, I've been doing so good for them. I just hope also that this day would be good for once. I need to get over my feelings for Austin... ugh dumb feelings!


Feelings.


Feelings.


Feelings.

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Hey Chipmunks I decided to update today as well.. I'm going back to updating a lot more often since I'm going to go back to school soon and I don't want to get behind in these both books so yeeeeaahh well hope you all have a good day I'll update soon! Leave your lovely comments and votes I love you all also if you don't mind please read my recent update on 'Falling For My Brother' Becstin Fanfic, I really appreciate it! <3





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