And there was you (Invisible Strings #1)

Chapter 8 - Burst of Feelings

"Are we seriously fighting over this?"

"Ikaw kasi, hindi mo ko ma-gets e." Pabiro ko siyang inirapan.

"I mean, just hear me out, okay? You really don't have to think too hard about this. Ano ngayon, kung mahirapan ako? Ginusto ko naman na isama ka. At ano ngayon, kung gagastos ako for our own convenience? Tayo naman ang makikinabang do'n, hindi lang ikaw. Kaya wala ka dapat ipagalala kapag ako ang kasama mo. You only need to relaxed and enjoy yourself."

Napaiwas naman agad ako ng tingin. Why does he always have to be so good with his words? Sa buong buhay ko, nasanay ako na sa bawat galaw ko, kailangan alam ko ang gagawin ko to be at ease. Hindi ako makakalma hangga't iniisip ko na maaring may ganitong mangyari at hindi pwede na hindi ako handa. I was always anxious, and the only person I can depend on is myself. Kailangan alerto ka palagi.

Kaya ngayon na may nag sasabi sa'kin na hindi ko kailangan mag isip at mag-enjoy lang ako... nakakapanibago sa pakiramdam. It was even forcing me to think that it's okay for me to depend on someone, for once in my life, after being independent for so long.

This is bad. This is really bad.

"Tara na, ihahatid na lang kita sa inyo. Huwag mo na intindihin iyong tickets at iyong movie. We can just watch that another time, but for now... you need to rest that one out." Tumayo na siya at iniabot niya ang kamay niya sa'kin. I then stared at it for a good few seconds before directing my eyes again to his. Gathering my thoughts, I smiled at him too.

"May tanong pala ako..." I almost whispered.

"Hm? Ano iyon?"

"I know this question might be little too late considering that we've been hanging out for months already. Dapat tinanong ko na nga, noon pa. Wala lang siguro akong lakas ng loob. But," I bit my lower lip. Tama ba itong ginagawa ko? "Now that I have the courage to ask you this, I just want to know... bakit ako? I mean, you have a lot of friends who can be with you or watch a movie with you today. Si Paulo? Si Randy... or even Trinity? Pero bakit ako? Hindi naman talaga tayo close e. Ni hindi nga tayo madalas na nag uusap kahit noong mga high school pa lang tayo. Kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ngayon... sa'kin ka lumalapit. Kung bakit ngayon... sa'kin ka sumasama."

Kitang-kita ko kung paano siya nagulat sa mga sinabi ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa first time niya lang ba akong narinig na ganito kahaba ang sinabi o dahil ba may natamaan ako? Hindi rin kasi agad siya nakapag salita at tanging pagtitig na lamang ang ginawa sa'kin.

Napalunok naman ako. Why is he not saying anything? Na-offend ko ba siya?

"Don't get me wrong, hindi ko naman sinasabi sa'yo 'to kasi ayaw kitang maging kaibigan. Believe it or not, I like being friends with you. Gusto ko lang talaga malaman kung bakit. Para alam ko na iyong sasabihin ko kung may magtatanong ulit sa'kin kung ano ba talaga kita."

He licked his lips, and in a hoarse voice he asked, "Why? Ano bang sinasabi nila?"

"Na may gusto ka sa'kin." Diretsahan kung sinabi at umawang ang labi niya. "Na hindi mo gagawin ang lahat ng ito kung magkaibigan lang talaga tayo. Na... you're only giving me a special treatment just because it's me. Hindi naman 'diba?"

I was expecting him to have a violent reaction or to laughed it off at least. Katulad ko, sa tuwing may nag sasabi na may gusto siya sa'kin at nag bibigay ng malisya sa pakikitungo niya sa mga nagdaang buwan. Because friends shouldn't like each other that way! And I believed that he didn't like me that way either. Mabait lang talaga siya. At nagkataon na parehas pala kami ng mga hilig kaya ako ang sinasama niya.

I was even expecting him to joked about it like how he usually humor me, and yet he only gave me a smile as if he was caught steeling cookies inside a jar!