And there was you (Invisible Strings #1)

Chapter 6 - Building Walls

Napakurap-kurap naman ako at hindi na ngayon malaman ang sasabihin. I don't know if I was just in awe, and yet something shift in me hearing his words that I didn't notice my gaze on him stayed a little longer. Para akong natulala. And that my heart is beating faster than usual! Nag papalpitate yata ako?

Tinawa ko na lang ulit iyon at iniwas ang tingin.

"Mas bagay ba sa'kin ang madaldal?"

He shrugged. "Both works fine for me."

Gusto ko rin naman sana kaso...

"But I don't think people like it when you are not good with your words," I whispered. "It's hard for them to listen and understand because it's making them feel like the communication is just one-sided. Kaya siguro, ayaw nila akong kausap." Mapakla akong natawa sa mga nasabi.

Dati pa man, isa na talaga sa weakness ko ang pakikipagusap. Madalas akong nauutal at hindi ko maipaliwanag nang malinaw kung anong gusto ko sabihin. Kapag kinakabahan kasi ako, I tend to speak faster but it's not loud and clear since they're all jumbled inside my head. Tapos makikita mo pa na iyong kausap mo, hindi na interesado sa mga sinasabi mo. Kaya lalo akong nahihirapan. At kaya lalo rin akong kinakabahan.

The walls around me began to get higher because of that.

Lucas hummed, pursing his lips while his eyes are still on the road. "Siguro para sa iba, nahihirapan nga sila intindihin iyong mga taong hindi talaga palausap. Meron kasing mga tao na gusto nila nasasabayan iyong energy nila sa pakikipag usap. Na kung hyper siya, dapat hyper ka rin! Kaya if nakikita nila na wala ka masyadong pinapakitang emosyon o tahimik ka lang, nat-turn down din sila. Na baka katulad ng iniisip mo, hindi mo rin sila gusto kausap,"

My lips slightly parted, trying to analyze his words a bit more. Sa totoo lang kasi, hindi iyon pumasok sa isip ko kahit minsan. Masyado ba akong nag-focus sa nararamdaman ko lang na hindi ko na naisip kung anong dating ko sa mata ng iba?

"So, I hope you won't take it the wrong way the next time it happen again. Hindi sa hindi ka nila gusto kausap, it's just that their energy don't matches yours and it's okay. Magsalita ka lang kung gusto mo. And if you're afraid to say the wrong words, then feel free to keep your silence. Marami din naman na gusto pinapakinggan lang sila. Communication is quiet easy when you don't think of it as a burden."

Nag buntong hininga naman ako. "It's hard to pinpoint which one are you."

Ngumisi siya. "I can be both actually."

"Nah, you're obviously the former. That's why I don't believe you when you said you are not fond of parties. Masyado kang maraming kakilala." Pagbibiro ko. Tama na nga kami sa issues ko. Pagninilayan ko muna iyong mga sinabi niya.

"Hala, grabe na-judge naman ako agad! Seryoso nga ako roon, ayaw nito maniwala e." At tumawa ulit siya.

"You are an example of an extrovert, Lucas. You're supposed to love parties!"

"Well, sorry to burst your long and overdue bubble but Ma'am, I am actually an extrovert who doesn't like being surrounded with large and loud crowds. Oo, gusto ko nga na nakikipag usap ako sa mga tao, pero ayoko naman sa mga masyadong maiingay na lugar. Gets mo po?" He emphasize, hitting me with my words back. Lumabi naman ako. At least inamin niya nga na extrovert siya.

"You're just generalizing our types at this point. Ikaw ba, kapag sinabi kung lahat ng introverts ay puro tahimik lang at walang social life kasi nasa bahay lang sila palagi, maniniwala ka?"

I grinned. "Oo?"

"Talaga ba?"

Magic happened but at some point of that night, the heaviness I felt earlier slowly dissipate into thin air. Normal na rin ang tibok ng puso ko at halos hindi ko na naisip pa ang oras ng naging byahe namin. The unexplainable tranquility between us, the stillness of the night, and the burning city lights from outside of his car, all made it feel more natural for me to be with him, that it didn't register to me at first that I was actually talking. Like a lot.