And there was you (Invisible Strings #1)

Chapter 6 - Building Walls

"Sigurado ka ba? You have so many friends back there. Wala ba kayong after party man lang? Ng mga classmates natin?"

Bahagya siyang sumulyap sa'kin.

"I'm not really fond of parties."

Natigilan naman ako sa sinabi niya. Napaisip bago ulit nag salita, "Will you be offended if I call bullshit on that?" I genuinely asked, tilting my head a bit.

Kita ko agad ang biglang bahagyang panlalaki ng mga mata niya at pagkatapos ay tumawa siya. His boisterous laugh echoed inside the fine space of his car na kahit ako ay nagulat. Sakto naman na nag red light kaya natigil kami at nagkaroon ulit siya ng pagkakataon na tumitig sa'kin. "Holy shit, nag mumura ka pala?"

"Why are you so amused? Syempre naman nagmumura ako?"

In fact, madalas pa nga. Kahit itanong niya pa kay Mika.

"Well, you can't seriously blame me for this, Sariel. You are always timid and quiet even back when we were only in highschool so I just... pegged you as the girl who never say bad words but only the good ones." He said sheepishly, leaning his head a bit on the steering wheel. "Kahit nga iyong mga teachers natin, gusto ka e. Kasi nga daw masunurin ka, mabait, at hindi pasaway."

I rolled my eyes at him playfully. Alam ko naman iyon. Kaya nga ako nakakapasa dati sa Mathematics kasi dinadaan ko na lang sa bait iyong teacher ko para hindi niya ako mabigyan ng line of 7!

"Sorry to burst your long and overdue bubble, but to be honest I'm not very good of saying only the good ones. Dumadaldal din naman ako. Nag mumura. Kaya lang naman ako tahimik kasi madalas wala akong masabi, o ayaw kung mag salita, at nabubulol din kasi ako kapag kinakausap ako bigla."

Kinakailangan ko pa ulit-ulitin sa utak ko ang mga gusto ko sabihin para lang hindi ako mautal kasi kinakabahan talaga ako pag may taong lumalapit sa'kin. Ang hirap magpakita ng emosyon, tapos sa huli ikaw pa ang mahuhusgahan.

Kaibigan mo pala si Sariel? Ang boring niyan e.

Boring kasama iyan. Sama ka na lang sa'min!

Hindi ka pa nga kilala, parang na-judge na buong pagkatao mo.

And those unnecessary judgements sometimes lead people to build their walls, thick and high. Kaysa nga naman masaktan, bakit hindi mo na lang protektahan ang sarili mo? In that way, no one will ever know the real you not unless you tear down those walls to let them in. Kontrolado mo pa ang puso at ang emosyon mo. Na sa'yo rin ang desisyon kung hahayaan mo silang papasukin sa buhay mo.

And I think, it's better that way.

After all, the more you expect and the more you hope that someday people will understand, the bigger the disappointments, are they not? So why not just stop all of it together?

Hindi ka pa mapapagod sa kakaisip.

Ang hirap na rin naman makaahon sa mga pader na iyon. Kaya bakit pa ako aalis? Wala rin naman gustong sumubok.

He nodded his head, seemingly impressed for some reason. He then turn his gaze in front again when the lights signal turned green.

"Then, please continue proving me wrong,"

Kumunot naman ang noo ko. Tiningnan ko siya nang may pagtataka.

"I mean... I like it when you take the initiative to prove to me that I was wrong about my perception of you. And that right now... you are actually being honest with yourself in front of me." He said, licking his lips a little and stifling a chuckle. "I know it might be just a minor little thing about you, but it's nice to hear you talk about yourself that way. Baka kasi ngayon lang din kita nakausap ng ganito katagal? Sobrang ilap mo kasi dati."