Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

12: No Thanks For The Memories Pete

Frank trusted Pete, and he knew that he would never tell anyone about his tryst with an older man; Pete already knew about Frank's perchance for hookups, and it wasn't as if Pete could truly cause any damage with the information, even if his mother found out, she would probably forget within days, so that wasn't the reason for Frank's reluctance, but it was hard to put his finger on exactly what was making him stay silent on the subject of Gerard.

Maybe it was the fact that Pete was always bemoaning the fact that he hadn't found a boyfriend yet, and he would usually end those tirades with a soft smile, coupled by "at least I always have you Frank", and Frank wasn't entirely sure how Pete would react to the fact that Frank was seeing someone, instead of just having one night stands, and Frank didn't want to do anything to drive his best friend away.

But in all honesty, it was because Gerard seemed too good to be real, like a ghost that would disappear if anyone else knew of his existence, or a dream that Frank was living in, and telling Pete - or anyone really - would shatter the illusion. Gerard was Frank's secret, the only thing he had in the world that not one person knew about, and even though Frank wasn't in the habit of obscuring parts of his life from his best friend, Gerard was changing that.

Gerard was changing everything actually, most of all Frank, because Frank was actually happy lately; he was walking into work with a smile on his face, caused by the fact that he knew he would see Gerard after, and even his mother's ever increasing oddities had ceased to bother him as much now that he had Gerard there to support him.

Not that Gerard knew anything about his mother, or his personal life; Frank had managed to keep the topic of their conversations away from all things relating to that, and distracting Gerard was almost too easy of a task; all Frank had to do was mention anything that Gerard was remotely interested in, and the older man would go off on a tangent, completely forgetting their previous discussion in favor of the new one.

Gerard had ranted for almost an hour about the color black the other day, pointing out how it was so strange that both Frank and his shirts were technically black, but they weren't the same color, so that should be impossible, before proceeding to try and rename all of the shades of black, ranging from ebony to faded dusk, and Frank had listened raptly the entire time.

Frank loved hearing Gerard talk, and he almost looked forward to the quiet times in which they both rambled about nothing at all even more than the sex that usually came before or after, not that Frank didn't love the sex, it got better every time, and Frank was actually in awe over how good Gerard was in bed, but he really needed to stop thinking about that before he got hard, so Frank forcibly turned his mind away from that train of thought.

Shaking his head groggily, Frank took a bite of his now cooling pizza, trying his best to tune back into the movie, which was proving a difficult task since he had missed most of the opening sequence thanks to his Gerard based daydreams. Frank really couldn't help himself though, because if he wasn't with Gerard, he was thinking about him, or texting him, and Frank would have been worried about coming of as clingy if Gerard didn't act the exact same way.

Gerard seemed almost more attached to Frank than Frank was to him, which was impossible of course, Frank simply tried to hide his burning desire to be around the man twenty-four/seven, but still - it felt so fucking good to be wanted, and Gerard made Frank feel that in spades, which was better than the sex, better than the time away from home, and Frank was beginning to realize that this was what he had been searching for his entire life.

Every hookup, every drunken night had been Frank looking for this, for someone who wanted Frank around for more than one evening, for someone who didn't know anything about Frank's past, or his future, and who didn't really care, or pry, they simply wanted Frank in their life, and Gerard did exactly that, as if he knew just what Frank needed, and he was determined to be there for Frank no matter what.