CHRYSALIS

VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED

The Doctor walks around the console, deep in thought. Then something crashes through the wall and we fall to the floor.

I let out a cough and wave a hand in the air to clear the smoke.
"What the fuck?!" I spot a life preserver that reads 'Titanic'.

The Doctor gets up, and, using various controls, closes the Tardis, pushing out the ship.

The Doctor and I step out and brush ourselves off. I pat the Tardis, making sure she's okay. The Doctor opens the cupboard door and steps out. I follow him.

We enter a wood-paneled room decorated with potted palm trees and Christmas decorations. People dressed in early 20th-century clothes mill about as waiters pass hors d'oeuvres and champagne. The band is playing a sedate version of 'Jingle Bells'.

We approach two golden angels garbed in white. They move mechanically and I realize they're robots.

I wander over to the window and look out, "Right."

We're in space.

"Attention all passengers. The Titanic is now in orbit above Sol 3, also known as Earth. Population: Human. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Christmas."

A video of a bald man with a thin mustache sitting behind a desk, "Max Capricorn Cruiseliners-the fastest, the farthest, the best. And I should know because my name is Max."

The screen reverts to the cruise line logo.

We walk towards reception.

We stroll through the entertainment lounge, looking around.

"Merry Christmas, sir, ma'am." The Steward says.

We respond in kind, "Merry Christmas."
We pass by a man speaking into a futuristic phone.

The Doctor approaches a robotic angel.

"Evening. Passenger 57 and 58. Terrible memory. Remind us. Uh, you would be..."
The robots voice is neutral, movements smooth and controlled, rather than robotic, "Information: Heavenly Host supplying tourist information."

"Good, so um... tell me, cos I'm an idiot, where are we from?"

"Information: The Titanic is 'en route' from the planet Sto in the Cassavalian Belt. The purpose of the cruise is to experience primitive cultures."
"Titanic." I nod, "Who thought of the name?"
"Information: it was chosen as the most famous vessel on the planet Earth."
"Did they tell you why it was famous?" I ask.

"Information: all designations are chosen by Mr. Max Capricorn, president of Max- Max- Max..." The robot keeps repeating the name, becoming higher in pitch. The head jerks with every 'Max'.

"Ooh, a bit of a glitch." The Doctor reaches into his pocket, about to sonic the Host when the steward rushes in.

"Sir, we can handle this." He waves to others for assistance. Two other stewards arrive and switch off the host taking it away, "Software problem, that's all. Leave it with us, sir. Merry Christmas."

In reception, I spot a waitress drop her tray after bumping into the man on the phone.
"For Tov's sake, look where you're going! This jacket's a genuine Earth antique."
"I'm sorry, sir." She bends down to pick up the broken glass.
"You;ll be sorry when it comes off your wages, sweetheart."

I glare, storming over to him, "Hey, don't talk to her like that. If you were paying attention that wouldn't have happened."

He rolls his eyes, walking off, "No wonder Max Capricorn is going down the drain."