CHRYSALIS

WE NEED TO TALK

While Rose is sleeping at Jackie's, I decide to talk to the Doctor about my feelings.
I find him in his usual spot, under the console tinkering away.
"Doctor?"
Humming, he looks up at me.
"We need to talk."
He stops what he's doing, getting up from his spot, "What's wrong?"
"Have you noticed that I've been upset with you?" I ask.
"Yeah, 'course I have."
"Do you know why I'm upset?"
"Not really."
I sigh, putting my hand on my forehead, "I'm upset because you kissed Madame de Pompadour right in front of me. And then as if that wasn't enough, you left to save her, not knowing that there was a way back, leaving me to think that I would be stuck without you for the rest of my life, and no way home."
He winces, "Technically she kissed me."
I glare at him, "I don't know why I thought you would listen."
I turn to leave he grabs my hand.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't help. You hurt me when you didn't even think about what it would do to me when you left to save her. It's like I don't mean anything to you at all." I tear up.
"You mean everything to me."
"It doesn't feel like it." I pull my arm out of his grip and start to walk away.
"I love you."
I stop in my tracks at his admission.
I hear his footsteps approach, "I love you in every way imaginable, in ways that matter and in ways that don't, I love you in every possible timeline we've ever met in, and I will carry my love for you in my bones for every regeneration, every day until I die and even then, I will love you in whatever afterlife there is. And I will love you until every sun and every planet in the galaxy dies. Because the love I have for you could never compare to anyone I have ever loved in my life, you are the only thing that matters from here on out. Because my hearts beat for you and only you." His arms wrap around me, "And I am terrified that you will decide that this life is too much for you, that I am too much for you. I'm terrified that you will leave me behind and find someone else. Because there is no one else for me."
I don't turn, "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"When I was regenerating, do you remember how the residual energy was flowing into you? That wasn't an accident. Time Lords, we have this thing called a tether. It's incredibly rare to find one, but when you do, it's the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. It's like a soulmate, but it also takes on a psychic level. Tethers, well we can feel when the other is near based on how warm our chest gets. And we can feel their emotions and hear their thoughts. It doesn't work the same because you're human, but when I first held your hand, it was a rush of warmth through my body. It was you the universe chose for me, my tether. I'm sorry I hurt you, and if it happens again, you have to tell me to fix it. I swear on the Tardis, my hearts beat for you and only you."
My heart beats faster at the admission.
"I need some space."
He unwraps his arms from around me, "Take as much time as you need."
I nod, walking out of the Tardis and to the park near the Powell estate, sitting on the bench in front of the blacktop.

The last time I sat here was when the Doctor sent me away. I vaguely remember a blind man who ended up being a future version of the Doctor talking to me.
Tears run down my face, I reach up and wipe them away.
"Abby?"
I turn and find... "Doctor?"
It's him, but he's in his last body.
"How did you get here?"
"The Tardis just dropped me off here, I wasn't sure why, then I saw you and--" He notices my red face, "Have you been crying?"
He sits down next to me, "What's the matter?"
I stare at him, "When was the last time you saw me?"
"When you turned down traveling with me. Why?"
I sigh, "I guess this was meant to happen then. I do travel with you, because you came back and told me it travels in time too."
He furrows his brow, "So you're saying the Tardis is somewhere nearby, but it's future me inside?"
I nod.
He smiles, "Fantastic."
I shrug, pausing for a second, "Why did you ask me to travel with you?"
He hesitates, "I thought you would make a good companion."
"You're lying. 'Cause you told me today it was because I was your tether." I stare him down, "Why would you lie about that?"
He runs his hand down his face, "The moment my hand touched yours it was instant, this warmth filled me and it was you who caused it. You've got your whole life ahead of you, it's not fair to you if I take that away."
"What do you mean 'take it away'?"
"Tethers are permanent. There's no backing out of it once the bond forms. You wouldn't be able to feel for anyone else until death parts us. It wouldn't be right to put you in that situation at nineteen."
"You don't get to decide that for me." I say angrily, "You don't get to choose if I go with you or not. That's my choice. I made it a long time ago. I love you, and I will love every regeneration you go through."
He smiles wistfully, "Why don't you tell him that?"
I blink, pausing for a moment, and smile, "I will."
And with that, I stand up and run back to the Tardis.
The doors open for me and I stop just in the entryway.
He's sat on the Captain's chair, looking downhearted, but looks up when the doors close behind me.
He gets to his feet and offers a nervous smile.
I walk towards him silently, he watches with intrigue.
"It's you." I tell him, "It's only you and it always will be. In this life and the next one." I take a deep breath, "I love you. I will love you until the stars die out. And I want to stay with you for as long as life allows me."
He beams pressing a kiss on my forehead as he embraces me.
"I would do anything to ensure you could travel with me forever." He murmurs.
The words echo through my mind, something about that is familiar but I can't quite place it.