Dear Coraline

Vent 2 (4/18/24)

Dear Coraline:
11am:
I'm so overwhelmed. I feel like I'm supposed to be perfect all the time. And I try so so hard to be good at everything. But I'm not, and when I'm not, I have an anxiety attack. I feel like my friends count on me to be strong 24/7, and know stuffs. But I don't. I'm weaker than some may think. And my parents wanting me to have better grades and get things up even though I'm already trying my absolute best, it's not enough for them. I try so hard. And now here I am, breaking down in tears. My room is a mess, because I don't ever have motivation, my head just forces myself to stay in one place 24/7. Just sitting and rotting. I can't do this anymore. In Track, I have an injury that hurts like absolute hell, like no other, in my left Calf. And here Mr. Wall and everyone is still depending on me to run well today. When I can't, im in so so much goddamn pain. It hurts so bad. I feel like I'm dying. And here Bella is talking shit about me just because I'm really overwhelmed and crying my eyes out. I'm so much weaker than she perceives me to be. I need you Coraline, I don't know what to do. I miss you so much. I wanna cry in your arms until I can't cry anymore. I've just had so much built up on me, and I finally broke. And now Winter is texting me that Bella is talking shit about me, I'm at my weakest point. I don't need her negative ass. I can't anymore. I've been crying for like half an hour out of pure stress and build up on my mental being. I can't breathe, I threw up in a trash can because how hard I've been crying in this room alone. If I tell them, than they'll take me to the nurse and be worried about my physical health being impacted by my mental health. I'm in shit. I'll keep going for you because I still remember what I promised you. And i'll keep that promise. I just can't rn, especially with Bella. Because this mother fucking dumbass was mad at me cuz I yelled "at her". I didn't. I just sorta said that I couldn't do it at the moment in a more stressed tone. Not at anyone. Not at her. I gtg for now, thanks for reading, love you. 🦭❤

Love, Raven