In the August Heat

forty-two | peace

It honestly hadn't been that hard to do. The words had been bouncing around in my brain for weeks.

"You are a fucking fantasy," August groaned, leaning down to brush his lips over mine. "I can't believe this is real. I don't know if you realize how much this is a goddamn dream come true. How much you are a dream."

"It's real," I promised him, sliding my hands up his shoulder and wrapping them around his neck. I pulled him down, wanting to feel him. Wanting more kisses. "I'm real," I breathed.

"Fuck, Castle." August dropped his forehead to mine as we exchanged rough gasps. "I don't deserve you."

"That's kinda how I feel about you." I rolled my body up against his, unable to help myself. The sheets were tangled between us, and I craved to feel his skin again even though my body ached with soreness from the last twenty-four hours.

To my displeasure, August rolled off me with a sigh and covered his eyes with his hand.

"I need you to put some clothes on, Quinn."

I looked down at my body, wrapped up in his sheets. "I thought you liked this look."

"I do." He shook his head, like a part of him disagreed with what he was asking me to do. "I like it way too fucking much, and it's impossible to have a conversation with you when you look this goddamn good. You look way too fuckable, and I need to give your pretty pussy a rest."

I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "I think I can handle a little more."

"Jesus Christ," August moaned. "Clothes, Quinn. Now."

"Fine." I heaved a sigh before slipping out his bed and searching through the boat for some remnants of clothes. They'd been tossed haphazardly when we'd been stripping earlier, but I found August's plain white t-shirt and threw it on before returning to the bedroom where August still had his hand covered over his eyes.

What a dramatic man.

"Okay," I laughed. "I have clothes on."

August let his hand drop, eyes finding me before blazing bright. Then he threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut again.

"You wearing my shirt and nothing else is not better, Quinn," he grunted. "Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me."

"Well, you should have thought about that before you ripped my shirt off. I don't think there are any buttons left, Fletcher."

His lips curved in a grin as though he was remembering it. Then he mumbled, "You have a point."

I raised a brow. "You owe me a new shirt."

His grin grew at that, and he opened his eyes to look at me again. "I'd happily buy you an entire new wardrobe if you wanted, Castle. I've been needing a new hobby now that I'm retired. I think spoiling you sounds like a great one."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "You definitely don't need to do that."

"No, but I want to." A sigh left my lips, and August gave me a questioning look. "Is that so bad?"

"No, of course not. But I don't want you to think that I'm with you because of your money."

August was back to smiling again at that comment, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what about that made him so happy.

"I've never thought that you're interested in my money, Castle," he said through his grin. "Now, let's talk more about this whole being with me thing."

I immediately felt the heat rise onto my face and shifted on my feet. "I thought that was sort of what you were implying earlier that you wanted. But if it's not—"

"Oh, it is." He scooted to the end of the bed and put his arms out, wanting me to walk into them. So I did, letting his hands slide onto the back of my legs to keep me in place. "It is exactly what I want. I want to be with you every day. I want to be with you for as long as you'll let me. You have no idea just how much I've been wanting that. I just like hearing you say it."

I looked down at him, brushing the hair back from his face to see his shining, eager eyes.

"You're going to be the neediest boyfriend, aren't you?" I asked softly.

"Fuck, baby." Satisfaction played all over August's face. "I get to be your boyfriend? I'll be any kind of boyfriend you want as long as I'm yours."

"You're mine," I agreed, and August's gaze darkened. His hand slid up and down the back of my legs, causing goose bumps to erupt on my skin. "I have absolutely no idea how to walk away from this or you, so it looks like you're mine."

"I've already said that I don't deserve you," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine. "But I think it's worth repeating. I don't deserve you, Quinn."

"Don't say that," I whispered, cupping his handsome face.

"It's true," he said earnestly. "It's unbelievable what you've sacrificed for me."

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, struggling to talk. The way August was looking at me was taking away all of my words, so I just shook my head.

"How do you think they're going to react?" he asked gently when I still hadn't figured out what to say.

"I have no idea," I admitted. "It's making me anxious thinking about it, but I'm also so incredibly relieved. I feel...free. You have no idea how much it had been weighing on me."

"I do know." August's hands gave me a little squeeze. "The last week or two, I watched you agonize over your computer, staring at it for hours at a time. And all I wanted to do was to help you, but I didn't know how."

"There was nothing you could do to help," I said, trying to put him at ease. "It was always going to come down to a decision like this, and now that I've made it, I feel so much better."

"I'm glad." August nodded, and I could tell he meant what he said. He always did. "All I want is for you to be happy. For you to find peace."

"Did you find peace when you walked away?" I asked.

August's brows furrowed as he stopped to think. His eyes shifted away from mine as he withdrew for a second, and when he came back, there was clarity there.

"I did, but I'd known it wasn't over. I'd known they'd try to bring me back. It hung over me as I waited for it, but I never expected that their tactic would be you. And it just so happened that you brought me the closure that I needed."

I sank down onto August's lap, wrapping my arms and legs around him. I never would have imagined when I traveled down to South Carolina that I'd be snuggling into August Fletcher's lap after quitting my job, but here we were. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I don't think I had peace when I walked away," he added quietly. "But fuck, I do now."

I nodded as the same feeling sank deep within me.

But I had no idea it was about to be disrupted.

a/n:

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xoxo amelie