HOME - Taejoon

28. Close to me

Namjoon made the smoothie before leaving, because it was customary; He cared little that there was nothing to accompany him to the university.

He had an appointment at the library, on time that Thursday. As usual, he arrived a little early, took a place in the back near the classics section and prepared to settle in. He played with his fingers on his notebook while he waited for his companion. It was said that it was necessary to wait for him, but no one really told him to arrive an hour early in the first place.

Being a man of many words, oddly he hadn't spoken much in months. He had the phone turned off inside his left pocket, as he did not want interruptions while he helped his protégé study; although this time, something was different.

A finger pressed against his cheek suddenly. When he turned around, Jungkook was there smiling, almost cartoonish. His hair covered part of his face when he approached him at one point to kiss his cheek.

Having him sitting in front of him, Namjoon couldn't even look at him. Jungkook wasn't stupid.

"We should have met at my house." The sudden reprimand silenced the thoughts of the eldest of the two, who, stunned, cleared his throat and leaned against the table.

"It was important to see each other like this for the last session, don't you think?"

"If by important you mean cautious, then I suppose." Jungkook's response didn't please him at all. "Anyway, let's finish this then..." the minor's apparent lack of emotion triggered Namjoon's alert senses, who, taken by surprise, licked his lips.

"Of course...if you don't seem to care about this then there's no point in prolonging it further." Namjoon sighed as he spoke, like a dead man who leaves his last breath to his loved ones before leaving forever; Thus, he himself felt that he was leaving himself somewhere, hidden among the piles of other people's books.

Since there was no immediate response, he ended up getting up from his place, taking his backpack and, in a glance, ending up starting to leave. However, he was detained.

"Wait."

Remembering perhaps the first time, Namjoon turned to look at the man who was not begging but suggesting. That boy walked until he was in front of him and took a deep breath. After a few seconds of looking around, he wrapped his arms around Namjoon's neck and came up to kiss his neck. Once hidden there, he spoke.

"Good luck and, thanks for the help in english and what you did in my house."

He pulled away quickly to look into his eyes again.

"I wish things were different, somehow." The eldest between them gritted his teeth, not knowing if he was angry with the man in front of him for whom he had done a great stupidity, perhaps the greatest thing in his life, out of envy; or with himself for not being able to recover, because, it turns out, it was just a reflection of what he had been all his life: a genius Kim.

Those words flooded the small space between them, rising little by little until they were both by the neck, tied to each other.

"Do you know it's wrong to fuck anyone you envy?" Jungkook said and broke a smile. His lover, on the other hand, did not change his expression. "Because it would be inevitable to distance yourself from someone who admires you."

The maturity in those words were enough to make Namjoon excited; he might not like to admit it but it was obvious Jungkook was never the shy new guy he made himself to be, just like a boxx of fresh surprises, the guy seemed to have a weird past Namjoon never got to know.

"You are different than I thought." Namjoon said in a whisper, holding himself upright. The young man in front of him chuckled, half-serious he stood glaring at his senior.

"Because I'm not the one you're going to America for." Jungkook smirked slowly. "It's a shame you're not enough to make people stay." It was not a rude comment, at least not by intention; nevertheless it touched a nerve in Namjoon who, trying to convince himself more than to the junior, argued.

"You still don't know anything about me."

"I knwo enough to see why you wanted to fuck me in the first place." Jungkook spit back, almost too graciously to believe it was his first time. "And that's why I get why He would still take you back even after what you did."

"He's not like you think." Namjoon defended Taehyung, almost unconsciously, almost pathetically.

The young man in front of him only gave him one last smile before leaving. As he looked at his back, he understood what would have been obvious before if he hadn't been so obsessed with hiding his manipulation from him: Jungkook was also using him, but not for himself, but for whoever his mother hoped he would be.

Turns out its not fun anymore when it's not a cheat.