HOME - Taejoon

27. Lonely

Received today at 6:45 am.

Dear Mr. Kim, we hope this email finds you well. We are pleased to inform you that your application has been accepted for the 'Around the World' exchange process. Attached is the list of following actions prior to your scheduled trip next January 26, 2021.

Greetings, Yonsei University International Exchange Office.

After almost an hour, he was still looking at it. Taehyung's knee was bouncing as he sat in the dining room of the strange dormitory, dressed in pajamas on a Saturday afternoon. Around him, the sound of footsteps, a chair, and a weight falling on it, before a crunchy chew.

"Is the Idiot?" Jimin asked with three spoons of cereal in his mouth. Taehyung shook his head but didn't say anything. "Is something wrong? Is Eomma okay?" He swallowed, frowning. "Tell me, I'm getting worried."

"No, my mother is fine." Taehyung admitted, closing the phone and setting it aside. His fingers were numb. "It's from the University."

Jimin put down the cereal to focus on his friend, who leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, obviously tired from lack of sleep. Taehyung sighed and handed the phone to his friend. In return, he took the bowl from him and ate three generous spoonfuls. While he was chewing, Jimin opened the device and read the email, as soon as he finished, he sighed too.

"Shit."

Taehyung nodded his head.

"Shit." He agreed.

"I thought you'd cancel it." Jimin admitted, taking his bowl back and eating a little before handing it back.

"It would have been too late anyway; I had already taken the exam and the requirements were in the system." Taehyung explained. "Besides, there's supposed to be a justification and what could I say? That I'm not going because my boyfriend is a cheater who still planned to marry me in the United States?"

"It wouldn't have been bad," Jimin smiled, "that's what you get for dating him."

"How quickly you change your mind!" Taehyung replied. "Before you had a whole religion about him and now it turns out that you never liked him."

"It was because he didn't know everything he was doing! I was fooled like you!" Jimin defended himself, exaggerating with a hand on his chest. "Also, if you had told me since it started to get weird, I would have helped you before Yoongi Hyung, who, on top of that, is Namjoon's friend."

Jimin got up with the empty plate, leaving it abandoned in the pile of dishes that his roommate hadn't washed yet. Taehyung waited until he returned to the table, opening his phone again.

"Are you sure he didn't suspect anything?" Jimin asked as soon as he sat up again.

"Nah, I'm sure there must be something... otherwise it wouldn't explain why I left."

"You did well, to do it and come here." Jimin sighed, crossing his arms. "Even though Chaewon has taken up all my time, I'm glad you still take refuge in me." The two smiled at each other.

Comfortable, they sat up in their chairs, both unknowingly thinking about when they were children. Of course, time had passed, proof was Jimin's now grown hair and the trace of eyeliner on his eyes; as well as Taehyung's hard face, too weak now to think about leaving or being better.

"Can I ask you something, Tae?" Jimin said, and when his best friend looked at him, he stepped forward. "Were you really willing to leave for him?"

Taehyung suddenly stopped smiling, looking down at the table.

"Yeah. "

Jimin had never heard such a melancholic statement come from his friend; It was reason enough for him to wait for something more for him to continue. He didn't have to wait too long.

"Though now, I feel like he'll do it for me." Taehyung confessed, looking askance at Jimin who listened respectfully, letting him breathe. "You know that something like that would scare me a lot and thinking that I would do it with him calmed me down, but now I can't stop thinking that I did everything on my own." He smiled. "I mean, I filled out the forms, I completed requirements, I killed myself trying to please everyone including the interior designer," they both chuckled at that part of the monologue, "it's something I wouldn't have done under any other circumstances."

"Well," Jimin added, "if there's one thing you can thank that poor guy for, it's that he helped you through several things...I've never seen you as happy as when you were with him," he stopped short and pointed at his friend with a finger "but that doesn't mean I support you getting back with him."

Taehyung laughed lightly.

"I'm not going to do it, at least not for now." He rubbed his hair, trying to fix it. "I know that sometimes we are the same person...and, I think, even after everything we are still afraid."

"Of being together?"

"Of being alone in the world."