The sunset strip girl

What have i done?

Kaths Pov:
I'm capture in my own body and mind. I overdose two years ago in my sleep. The reason why this happen is because i took drugs again.
I got sober when i was 14 but when I came in La i meet this guy Joey. He's fighting with the same shit as me. He lost his parents into a car accident he's a homeless guy. What I want to say is that I did stop doing drugs until the last 3 month before I had my overdose. I had nightmares again. I couldn't sleep at all. The days that I was so angry i was on drugs. I couldn't do anything during the day without to take those pills. I will start panicked. The night in Las Vegas i saw my mother in room with me. She's was talking to me but I couldn't say something to her.
I don't know how to stop this whole situation. I know I need help but those pills were the only ones that helped me. I didn't say anything to anyone because they will try to make me stop taking it. I just needed something to forget about the pain that I have to get thru. It was not because of Kelly is about my family. Sometimes I'm getting use to the fact that my mom is dead and that I can't do nothing about it. But I have days that I can't and don't want to believe that she's dead.
Pov ends

I was downstairs cleaning the kitchen when Billy screamed from Kaths room.
He thinks Kath moved her fingers.
I called the doctor and he said that it may be possible that Kath will wake up soon.
Well that's what he says since to years and she's still not awake. I kinda lose my patience i really don't know what to do.

"Hey look what i found under her bed." Billy said to me while he handed me a box.
"What's this?" I asked
"It seems like a diary. And her pills.."
"So she never stopped to write in her diary.." i said
"Did she said that?" Billy asked me
"Yes. But it seems she didn't said the truth." I said as took her diary.
"Your just gonna read it like that?" Billy said
"I have to. What if she's gonna wake up and she's not gonna remember anything? I need answers."

I was on the couch with Billy next to me reading all out what Kath wrote in the diary.

                                     𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟎
𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐘𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝.

„She had nightmares again.." Billy said
„But why didn't she told me.."
„Maybe because she wanted to protect you from herself." Billy said
„Maybe you right." I said as I kept read the next page.

                                     𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟎
𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐲. 𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬. 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧.
𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈𝐦 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧.