New Heights

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I caught Nathan looking at me from the corner of my eye, he had his oversized glasses on which seemed to make him ten times more sexy (I have no idea how that was possible), as soon as he caught me looking he winked and one of his cheeky smiles began to form at the corner of his mouth. I bit my lip turning to look at the TV like I had before I’d got slightly distracted, since Nath was already sat close beside me I had no idea If he was glancing this way again; I didn’t want to sneak a look because I wanted to know if he would do anything.

He did.

Before I knew it his lips were on my neck, sending a trail of kisses over my skin, I automatically reacted to his touch, bending my neck so he could kiss me better. I sighed with pleasure, his touch always knew how to make me weak at the knees. His teeth scraped my skin so gently, I had to get closer to him. Turning around I let my lips find his, I kissed him with need, with passion and I knew there was no way this was going to end any time soon. I wanted him.

In one swift move he pulled me over his lap so I was straddling him, we continued to kiss as he carefully removed my cardigan from my shoulders one by one, my fingers found the hem of his shirt and tugged it over his head.

~

I woke up tangled in Nathan’s arms as we lay comfortably in our own bed, as all my thoughts gathered their selves together the memory of last night flooded my mind. Nathan’s touch, being so close to him, and feeling absolutely amazing in the process.

Carefully I rolled over so I was facing him, his heavy breathing told me he was still sleeping which gave me a chance to take a few minutes to look at his peaceful figure. His eyelashes so delicate, his cheeks a light shade of pink, his hair tousled, even his bare chest rising and falling with every breath he took. How had I got so lucky?  

Needing the toilet I carefully unravelled myself from Nathan without waking him up, sliding out of bed and tip-toeing across the room to put on my dressing gown and slippers, before doing what I got up to do. After I’d done my business I washed my hands and put a bit of water over my face to wake me up further. Nathan was still fast asleep when I walked out the bathroom so I thought I’d be a good girlfriend and make him a cup of tea for when he woke up.

As the kettle boiled I hummed the tune to the song Nath wrote about Ella, I found that it was in my head quite a lot lately but I didn’t mind. Pouring the milk in the almost black water I watched as it turned a light brown colour before putting the milk away again. Perfect. I had my hands full with both the cups so I couldn’t carry a biscuits or anything up with me, meaning I would have to come back again just to grab a packet of biscuits since right now I was craving a digestive.

I plonked the two mugs of tea down on the bedside table and glanced at a still sleeping Nath, before trekking back down to the kitchen to pick up the packet of biscuits I’d left on the kitchen table, taking a bite out of the food I craved. It was so satisfying when you ate something you’d been craving, so much so that as I carelessly walked back towards the bedroom I stopped outside the door I knew I shouldn’t have.

Unable to resist I twisted the door handle to open the room to Ella’s nursery, or the room that would have been Ella’s nursery anyway. I stopped eating the biscuit as I looked at everything, from the crib, to the wardrobe, to the changing table and the few baby clothes we had, I saw it all. I left the biscuits on the floor outside the room as I didn’t want to make any mess in the pristine room, it still had the lingering smell of wet paint.

I walked over numbly to the crib where one white rabbit with floppy ears lay unnecessarily smiling at nothing in particular. It would have been her first toy, the first night she would have come home it would have been in the cot waiting for her. A first toy was something you never forgot, I never forgot mine, in-fact I still had it. Big-Ted was his name, when I was born he was almost three times the size of me, since, according to my mum I was born a month earlier than expected. He was still sat on my bed at my parents’ house and that’s where he would remain, I wanted the rabbit to hold those kind of memories I had, sounds silly I know.

I shook my head and put the rabbit back in the crib, instead my eyes focused on the tiny baby grower hung on the wardrobe handle. I knew I should have probably left before I got even more upset, but something kept me grounded to the room. I walked over and picked up the baby grower, looking at where Ella’s tiny legs should have been, her arms. I think it was the combination of being in the room, and the fact the baby grower was empty, simply full of air, that sent a wave of tears streaming down my face.

Sobs erupted through me, my body shook through the pain. One minute I was perfectly happy just casually chomping on a digestive, then the heartbreak of having something ripped from you hit like a tonne of bricks.

I sunk to the floor trying to contain my emotions though not having much luck, I must have been sat there for about five minutes when Nathan walked in. I think the pack of biscuits outside the door made him realize where I was, if he hadn’t heard me anyway. He didn’t say anything he just scurried over, sat by me and pulled me close, holding me. Even that gesture helped a bit, it was comforting knowing I wasn’t alone. I think the sudden emotion only hit because it was the first time being in the room after we had lost Ella.

We sat there for about twenty minutes not speaking too much, even though the tears had now all dried up we didn’t move. We both stared at the empty belongings with sadness, I mean of course there was the prospect of having another baby, but the loss of Ella would always hit me, hit us. I glanced over at Nathan and saw his lip quivering, I pulled him closer and rested my head on his shoulder.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, wanting to know what thought was upsetting him. He let out a silent laugh and shook his head at whatever was running through his mind. “It’s stupid really, I was thinking that our bet is over. There will be no winner or loser on this one”. A single chuckle escaped my lips even though it wasn’t really something I should have laughed at, I think it was my own thoughts that let the chuckle out. “Another bet I would have lost” I sighed, Nathan really had a knack at betting, but it didn’t matter this time that he was right.

“Come on we can’t sit here crying all day” Nathan muttered in all honesty, I nodded and together we stood up. Nathan made sure to close the door once we had left, picking up the biscuits from the floor and going to make a fresh drink since the one I’d originally made was now stone cold.

“What have you got planned for the next few days?” I asked sitting down at the kitchen table as I munched on another digestive biscuit. “We’ve got an interview tomorrow but apart from that I’m not sure” he replied putting a few slices of bread into the toaster. I nodded, happy that I would get to spend a bit more time with him just relaxing as his schedule wasn’t very busy at the minute.

“Oh, and by the way I had a lot of fun last night” he winked as a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, my cheeks turned a light shade of pink and I bit my lip at the memory. “It wasn’t too bad was it?” I agreed with a giggle, as he took the golden toast out of the toaster he raised his eyebrows. “Too bad?” I giggled again, I had been lying as it was honestly one of the most amazing nights I’d had with him, but if it gave me the chance to see if he could improve in anyway (highly unlikely), then of course I was going to say it, and heck I was all for it!

A/N – Let me know what you think, but more action in this chapter if you know what I mean ;) Anyway comment, vote, fan and I’ll see you next Friday! Oh and Happy Easter too! J S x

P.S. I drew the picture of Nathan at the side, let me know what you think. It took me 2 hours! :D xx