[ Want To Believe Pt 2 ] Hyunjin x Reader

348 7 10

by Sleepy_Kitsune_E

by Sleepy_Kitsune_E

@beatricelmao asked for a pt 2 so... I SHALL GRANT THEIR WISH!!! (Its not good but yeah 😭)

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It's been weeks since I saw Hyunjin with that girl, I found out that her name was Bora. The two of them have been really close these past few days and it really hurts. All my friends had noticed a change of energy I'd been having. "Come on, Y/n, cheer up!" Mila comforted me as I rested my head on my desk "Sorry Mila, I don't feel like it." I groaned as I rubbed my eyes. I had never known that crying continuously would hurt my eyes so badly.

"She's still upset about the whole rumour going around?" Yui asked as he and Kiora walked up to my desk, I groaned at the mention of the rumour that's been going around. The rumour was that Hyunjin and Bora were actually seen on a date and the fact that they changed their profile pictures to a matching profile picture on Instagram just added a whole new clue to this mystery. A mystery that I wish was never found out to be true. Kiora then punched Yui on the arm "Don't talk about it! You can clearly see that Y/n isn't in the best state right now!" Kiora scolded Yui as he ran his other hand over the spot she punched him in. "Y/n, I get that you're upset but you shouldn't feel this terrible, I mean not that I'm saying it's wrong but there are plenty of other guys!" Kiora comforted me as she patted my head completely ignoring Yui "Besides, if Hyunjin can't see how amazing you are then you shouldn't waste your time on him, someone will see you just the way you are." Yui continued as he pulled a chair to my desk.

"Thanks, guys, but I still can't help but feel... I don't know." I tried to smile but it came out soft. I don't know what has gotten into me ever since I saw Bora and Hyunjin. It feels like something apart of me is lost, lost to be given to someone else. The warmth that filled my heart whenever I saw him was replaced by a sinking and dark feeling because whenever I saw him, he was always with her. It's painful and it feels so wrong, I can't process this. I don't want to give him up. Even if it meant hurting myself, I would never want to give him up.

Kiora, Mila, and Yui all looked at each other with saddened eyes, I raised my head and sent them a sad and soft smile "Don't worry too much, I'll be fine." I told them, "I'm going to go to the toilet." I announced as I stood up, I walked out of the class as I felt the other's gaze on me. After I was done in the toilet I heard Bora's voice "Yeah, so he's finally going to tell them!" she squealed with her friend "Oh my god, finally! Ya'll have been so quiet about it for months!" her friend chirped in 'Bora? Are they talking about Hyunjin? No... I shouldn't overthink.' I thought to myself as I held back the tears, my eyes were already hurting. So crying all over again would just make it worse. I walked out of the toilet right after Bora and her friend had left and I wondered to myself what was she talking about. 'Could it be about Hyunjin? What if they're going to prove the rumours right?' I thought to myself but forced myself to stop when I felt the tears coming in all over again.

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Classes had passed and now I was in the same class as Bora and Hyunjin along with our friends, I watched as Hyunjin and Bora nodded at each other, and stood up to stand side by side at the front of the class. "Guys Bora and I have something to tell you..." Hyunjin started while looking at all of us, everyone stopped doing what they were previously doing to listen to Hyunjin. A sudden shot of realisation struck me, my head shot up as I stared at them. It felt as if the world had taken a pause as I watched Bora smile shyly.

"Yeah, so he's finally going to tell them!"

'No... no no no no no.' I thought to myself it felt as if I was watching the world around me crack into pieces 'Please don't say it... please, I'm begging you, Hyunjin please!' I thought to myself as I held a tight grip on my skirt. My chest tightened and my heart felt like it was about to be ripped out. The world around me suddenly became mute as I felt myself lose myself. The only person I could hear was Hyunjin but at that moment I didn't want to hear him out. "Bora and I have been hiding this for a while now..." I heard his voice, I felt myself building up tears as he continued. 'He's gonna tell them... he's going to actually say it.' I thought to myself as I felt my chest in pain, tears began to sting my already swollen eyes, I was holding my skirt so tightly I was sure that my knuckles were going to turn white or even break. "But we're actually dating!" he finally finished while holding Bora's hand and raising it for all of us to see.

'I was right...' I thought to myself as my grip let loose, I felt my heart drop to the ground "You.. and.. Bora?" Mila choked out to finally break the silence, I could feel Kiora and Yui's worried glances on me. "Yup! We've actually been dating for 5 months!" Bora cheerfully chirped, it was as if she couldn't see my state right now. "Congrats.." I managed to speak out, I tried to make it seem like my voice was about to crumble into dust. I stood up and walked to the toilet "Y/n?" Hyunjin called out to me "Are you okay? You don't look well." he asked, 'I'm not because of you and Bora.' I wanted to say it out loud but I couldn't "Just a bit sick..." I weakly smiled at him and Bora before making my way to the toilet. During my walk, I held my head low and I felt the tears stinging my eyes, I could barely hold back any longer. My breathing became shaky and everything turned to a blur, my entire vision was blurred out by the salty tears continuously building up.

Once I reached I locked the door and hid my face into the wall. The tears that I had been holding in all day began pouring like the rain "Why?" I muttered, 'Why Hyunjin...? Tell me... am I still not good enough? Am I still not worth that much? I'm sorry for the way I loved you. I'm sorry if I annoyed the absolute shit out of you. I'm sorry that I'm being so dramatic about this when we never even dated once...' I thought to myself, my eyes stung so badly from all of the salty tears I'd been shedding. Those tears turned my sadness into something else. Anger. 'WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO BADLY?! WE NEVER EVEN DATED AND FUCK THIS HURTS LIKE HELL!! "there's plenty of fish in the sea" I KNOW THAT BUT I DONT WANT SOMEONE ELSE, I JUST WANT YOU IN MY LIFE AND YOU ONLY... YOU WERE THE PERSON THAT I FELT THE MOST COMFORTABLE WITH AND YET YOU JUST HAD TO GET ALL MY HOPES UP UNTIL I HAVE WARMED UP TO YOU JUST SO THAT YOU COULD JUST LEAVE ME IN A DITCH... fuck...' I thought to myself as I griped onto my hair tightly 'I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE HYUNJIN! I WAITED FOR YOU FOR SO FUCKING LONG AND THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING PATIENT WITH YOU?!' I thought to myself as I hit myself in the chest.

My body cried in pain mentally and physically but I couldn't stop 'I PRAYED AND HOPED TO FUCKING GOD THAT YOU COULD SEE ME LIKE HOW I SAW YOU BUT YOU JUST HAD TO FALL FOR HER!! I WAITED FOR YOU FOR SO FUCKING LONG AND IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING?!' memories of me hoping and praying to god that I could have his name next to mine even if it takes me years to wait for him. 'FUCK I TRUSTED YOU, I TRUSTED YOU TO STAY WITH ME AND YET YOU LEAVE ME IN THE FUCKING DARK CRYING FOR YOU TO STAY BUT YOU JUST PLAY DEAF AND LEAVE ME!! DID YOU REALLY LEAVE ME FOR HER?? I WANT THE FUCKING TRUTH!! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU, I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD STAY BY ME, THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU THINGS I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD KIORA, YUI OR EVEN MILA!! AM I REALLY THAT BAD THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO STAY?!?' my mind flashed to the times when Hyunjin and I shared everything, I've never felt so safe and comfortable with someone whom I was able to share my insecurities and my problems with. He promised that he would stay with me and would never leave me.

'You know... I haven't cried this much for someone... I have never liked someone so much like how I liked you... I have never wanted to be with someone for so long... I have never gotten so tired of someone's voice... I have never wanted to continue a conversation so badly... I have never wanted to let someone go this badly... I have never wished that this entire thing is just a nightmare so desperately... I have never written so many letters for someone just because they filled the empty void in my heart... I have never felt so safe that I could share all my worries with... I had never wanted someone so badly until I met you... that's how badly you got me falling for you. I wish that you never got me like this... I wish that I had never fallen for you... I wish that I had never noticed all your small habits... I wish that I never admired you from afar... I wish that I had never changed my tone to a softer one when I spoke to you face-to-face... I wish that I never had my friends support the idea of us getting together... I wish I never thought that you looked pretty... I wish that I never sat behind you... I wish I had never shared anything about my secrets with you... I wish that I never hugged you... and I wish that I never met you.' I thought to myself as I allowed my body to finally give in and drop to the ground. I finally took note of how mentally drained I was feeling at the moment and how much pain my body was in from all the hits I had given myself. My eyes hurt like fuck and I couldn't keep them awake... my eyes started to give up on me as I let out slow breaths, I closed my eyes and everything went quiet.

The door started to bang but I couldn't hear anything, it was all muffled out and when the door finally opened it was Mila, Kiora and Bora "Y/N! Holy shit she passed out! Bora get the fucking teachers!!" Kiora yelled out to Bora as Mila crouched down beside me, I couldn't hear what they were saying next as everything became black and muffled.