Deadpool X Boku No Hero Academia

Day Two pt. 1

His friend shouts at me, "You know his family is going through a tough time, you monster!" And I'm here thinking, "Well, I just became a relationship counselor by accident."

{I think his parents are actually getting through a divorce.}

(Opssie)

===

Day two of school, and guess what? Studying. I know, right? Shocking! I planted myself right smack in the middle of the classroom—prime real estate for the academically challenged. Pros? Oh, I've got an all-you-can-cheat buffet from my classmates. Cons? Well, Mr. Aizawa, our homeroom teacher, had his eyes on me like a hawk. Dude's got a quirk for detecting potential troublemakers, and guess who's top of his list? Yours truly. Maybe I should've worn my "I'm here to disrupt your lesson" T-shirt.

BANG Aizawa's harsh bang on my head jolted me out of my sleep-induced stupor. "Wake up, Problem Child," he said sternly, his eyes fixed on me. I winced in pain and rubbed my head, trying to shake off the grogginess. "Owwwwwww," I grumbled, feeling irritated by his rough treatment. "You know it's illegal to hurt students, I can sue you," I said, pointing an accusing finger at him. But Aizawa was unfazed by my threats. "And I can fail you on the exams if you sleep in class and don't learn the materials," he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument. I groaned in frustration, realizing that I had no choice but to comply with his rules. "Urghhhhh, okay," I muttered, resigning myself to a long day of learning.

===

Finally, after long exhausting classes, it was lunch break!

So, there I was, emerging victorious from the battlefield of mind-numbing classes, ready to conquer the cafeteria. It is a room so large it could swallow your dreams whole, with tables, chairs, and more greenery than a hipster's Instagram feed. And the floor? Spotless. A real miracle considering it's the feeding ground for hundreds of hungry, messy kids.

I scoped out the scene like a lunchtime ninja, but alas, every table was claimed by chattering groups. Desperation kicked in, and after a quest that felt longer than an Avatar movie, I found my spot next to a bush. Yeah, you heard that right – I'm dining al fresco with a side of shrubbery.

As I settled on the floor like the rebel I am, I peeked into my lunch bowl. Tofu is the edible equivalent of disappointment. I recoiled in horror, muttering, "Ewwww, tofu?!" as it had personally offended me. With a swift ninja move, I shoved that soy impostor to the corner of the bowl and declared my allegiance to the real MVP – rice. Because when life gives you tofu, you push it away and embrace the glorious goodness of rice.

"Hey, Sloth!" A voice echoed through the cafeteria, and as I looked up, there was Bakugou, the human firecracker.

{Oh, that's just fantastic...}

"You couldn't find a place to eat?" he teased, turning heads and making the cafeteria audience do a collective cringe.

(SO CRINGY)

As Bakugou prepared to unleash his 'bullying' extravaganza, I had a genius idea. I shoved all of my tofu into his mouth, turning him into a human tofu dispenser.

(Oh, what if he chokes and dies? "Choked to death by tofu," would make a killer headline! Ha!)

As I chuckled, I gracefully stood up and strolled away, knowing the bell was about to ring. Leaving behind a spectacle of Bakugou choking on tofu, I felt like I just won the cafeteria Olympics. The students gathered around him, a mix of amusement and concern on their faces.

(Slow clap for the Tofu Assassin!)

===

"Okay, let's see what booooring class is going to take place now..." I said as I prepared to go for a long nap. Suddenly, a voice boomed through the room like a kid hyped up on too much sugar.

"I AM HERE!!!!" A strong but familiar voice chimed in as a freakin' massive man dashed through the door, presenting his white and red suit and blue cape while his blond hair was doing the superhero version of the Macarena.

"Whoaaaa!!" Everyone in class yelled in excitement and happiness, but I was the only one that murmured, "Oh, great..." Because, of course, not only is Aizawa our homeroom teacher, but apparently, the one and only All Might is our Hero Basic Training instructor. WHY WRITER, WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO CRUEL?

{The writer didn't pick the teacher}

(Yeah, it's the same teachers in the official anime)

"Yeah, but she could at least change the story a bit, you know?"

{Let's just get back to the story, smartass}

"Welcome to the most important class in UA High! Think of it as heroing 101, where you'll learn the basics of being a pro! And what it means to fight in the name of good! Let's get to it! Today's lesson is combat training!" All Might yelled in excitement while flexing his muscles for some reason.

"And now... Your suits! Those suits are based on your quirk restoration form you filled in with your parents!" All Might bellowed as he pointed to the wall, where gray boxes with lime numbers on each one exited the wall!

(Whoa!!!!!)

Apparently, we've upgraded from chalkboards to high-tech pop-up superhero suit dispensers. It's like a vending machine for justice. I wonder if it gives out capes too. Can I get mine in neon pink with glitter? Asking for a friend.

===

All Might, the beefcake superhero, strikes a pose in front of a dark tunnel. Cue slow-mo and epic music as he emerges, unveiling our heroic suits. He screams, "The clothes make the pros, and behold, you are the pros Heroes in training!"

Now, I spot Mydoria, the sticky balls guy, and the girl who aced the ball throw test having a chit-chat. Mydoria is rocking a green and white... bunny suit? And "OMG, OMG!!! I can't believe it!! He has pouches!!! Four red pouches on his belt! I am so proud of him!!" Yep, I'm fangirling like an anime schoolgirl who just got noticed by her crush.

"All right, heroes in the making! It's time for combat training!" All Might declares.

A brave student in some kind of white armor raises his hand, looking all serious. "Sir! Is this the same fake city from our entrance exam? Are we doing urban battles again?"

All Might smirks and holds up two fingers. "Not quite! I'm moving you two steps ahead!"

"Most villains you see on the news cause chaos outside, but statistically, the really nasty ones prefer indoors," All Might explains.

"Think about it – backroom deals, home invasions, secret underground lairs. Truly intelligent criminals stay in the shadows. So, for this exercise, you'll split into teams – good guys and bad guys – for some two-on-two indoor battles!" All Might announces, and you can almost hear the excitement in his voice.

The atmosphere was electric as the students gathered for the upcoming competition. A frog girl raised her hand and asked, "Isn't it a little advanced?" while Momo, the girl who won first place yesterday, inquired, "Sir, will you be the one deciding who wins?" Bakugue, with a fierce look in his eyes, asked, "How should we hurt the other team?" The girl who scored infinity chimed in, "Do we need to worry about the losers getting expelled like earlier?" The guy with the white armor asked again, "Will you be splitting us up in a game of chance or of skills?" Meanwhile, the guy with the glitter belly asked, "Is this cape crazy?" The excitement was palpable as everyone eagerly awaited the start of the competition.

Then All Might muttered something he looked pretty defeated from these questions

{All Might weakness (1#): Can't handle too many questions}

(You got the wrong anime)

===

END OF THE CHAPTER!

I'm trying to create suspense for the next chapter (which probably isn't working but still, suspense)