A Love To Remember

26.

Audrey's Pov

[FAST FORWARD >>> PROM NIGHT]

“Are you sure na hindi kana pupunta? Audrey, sayang din 'to and they are expecting you to be there.” Mom said as she sat down next to me, softly brushing my hair.

“Ma, ayos lang and masama rin talaga pakiramdam ko.” I said, coming up with a lame excuse but I know she knows the real reason.

“Magiging okay ka lang ba mag-isa? I have plans tonight with my friends and if you want pwede ka namang—” I cut her off and held her hand.

“Ma, I'll be fine. Go and have fun, okay? Stop worrying about me.” I reassured her and smiled.

“If you need anything or want something just call me, hmm?” Mom said and cupped my cheeks.

“I will.”

After an hour, Mom already left our house and I'm all alone. I decided not to attend the prom night, I'd rather stay at home and rest. I've been so exhausted the following weeks and I know being there isn't a good idea.

“Okay...” I whispered to myself as I went downstairs. I went to our living room, turning on the television and decided to enjoy myself alone.

Malamang nagsisimula na yung prom at for sure hinihintay din nila ako. They all thought na I passed my form but I didn't and they've been reaching me out since this morning.

Nagpalipas ako ng oras sa sala at sinubukang aliwin yung sarili ko. While I was busy watching, I received a call from them through video call.

“What?”

“Oh bakit nasa bahay kapa? I thought nalate ka lang?!”

“I'm not going.”

“At bakit? Hindi ba nagpasa ka ng form? Aba pumunta ka ngayon ng school.”

“Jewel, have fun na lang and let me rest. I'm not feeling well too.”

“Sus hindi lang ikaw inaya ni Bada nagmumukmok kana? Eto na dapat yung revenge day mo eh tapos suot mo revenge dress mo.”

“Shut up. Anong revenge revenge? Sige, I'll hang up na.”

“Hoy, hindi ka talaga pupunta?”

“Hanna, hindi na talaga.”

“Ang daya mo talaga. Look oh nagsasaya lahat habang ikaw nagmumukmok sa bahay dahil hindi inaya ng crush.”

She's right, everyone's having fun while I'm at home alone. Jewel showed me the event through our video call and they're all dancing. Sobrang ingay din kaya hindi ko sila masyadong marinig.

“Si Laine ayun may nabingwit na babae at sumasayaw sila ngayon.”

“Oh see, gayahin niyo siya and have fun too. Stop calling me, okay? I'm going to sleep now.”

“Aga naman? Argh fine! Basta babawi ka, okay? You owe us.”

“Fine, fine.”

“Bibisitahin ka namin bukas.”

“Hmm okay.”

“Bye!!!”

“Rest well!”

They hung up on me at napabuntong hininga na lang ako. I checked my social media account and saw some of my classmates post. Hindi naman ako nanghihinayang since wala rin talaga ako sa mood na umattend.

Instead of thinking about the event, nagfocus na lang ako sa panunuod ulit. Time has passed and I received a message from Laine saying they had gone home and the party is over while Mom? She's still not here at baka dun pa matulog yun sa bahay ng friend niya.

Around 12 am, I decided to go upstairs and sleep but while I was making my way, someone knocked on the door.

“Bakit kumakatok pa? May spare key naman siya.” bulong ko habang nakakunot noo. As I opened up the door, my jaw just dropped.

Bakit siya nandito?

“Audrey...” She said, staring at me and crying.

“Why are you here?” I asked her and looked straight into her eyes.

“Can we talk?”

“Tapos na tayong mag-usap. Ano pa bang gusto mong pag-usapan, Bada?” tanong ko sakanya.

“Please naman.”

“Nung nagmakaawa ba ako sayo, nakinig ka saakin? Nung araw na umiyak ako sa harapan mo, may ginawa ka? Stop asking me to do the things you didn't do to me. You have to play fair, Bada.”

“Audrey, listen first. Alam kong nasaktan kita at sinasaktan pa rin kita —”

“What do you want me to do?” I coldly asked her, cutting off her words.

“Hintayin mo ako. Please wait for me, Audrey.” Bada begged and reached out my hands, desperately grasped it as if her life depends on it.

Hindi agad ako nakapagsalita at tinitigan lang siya. She looks mess up and seems like she's been crying a lot. She's still wearing her suit—yes, a suit at halatang kakagaling niya lang ng prom at dumiretso agad sa bahay namin after the party.

“At bakit naman kita hihintayin? Do you even deserve that? Why would I settle for less? Anong akala mo saakin baliw?” I shoved her hands away but then to my surprised, she knelt down.

“Audrey, hindi mo naiintindihan.”

“Kasi never mong ipinaintindi saakin. Bada, you're just wasting your time.” I looked up, preventing my tears to fall.

Ayoko na umasa, pagod na pagod na akong umasa at kung maghihintay pa ako sakanya—mauubos lang sarili ko. Please lang awang awa na ako sa sitwasyon ko at pagod na pagod na ako.

“Audrey, you have to trust me. Mahal kita—”

“Kung mahal mo ako, bakit hinahayaan mo akong masaktan nang paulit-ulit? Ganyan ba talaga definition ng love for you? Hahayaan mo akong magsuffer mag-isa at umiiyak habang tinatanong ko sa sarili ko yung worth ko? Bada, that's not love. You're just selfish.”

“Oo na, selfish na kung selfish pero mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita, Audrey.” She looks up to me and our eyes met.

“Umalis kana. Ayoko nang marinig 'yang mga sinasabi mo. You don't really love me, you just love the idea of me, being so desperate to have you. Bada, I can't wait and wala na akong balak habulin ka kasi pinagod mo na ako.” I responded.

“No, that's not true.” Bada stood up and was about to approach me but before she could, I immediately pushed her away and shut the door behind.

“Leave me alone.” I shouted as Bada started banging on the door.

“Please let's talk.” rinig kong sabi niya at dun na ako nagbreakdown. She keeps knocking and I keep ignoring her.

I sat down, leaning my back against the door and hugging my knees while crying. I waited until It was quiet outside the house and she stopped banging the door, probably got tired and already left.

“Bada, I'm sorry pero napapagod din ako.” I said to myself between my sobs.

Gusto kong sabihin na ‘Okay, I'll wait for you because I love you’ pero paano naman yung sarili ko? If I choose to wait her, may guarantee ba na totoo lahat mga sinasabi niya? Ayokong dumating sa point na pati sarili ko maubos na dahil lang sa pagmamahal ko sakanya.

If I have to let her go, I'll do it for the sake of the two of us. After all the shits I've been through and experienced because of her, natuto na ako at alam kong hindi pa talaga ito yung right time para saaming dalawa.

If we're really meant to be, we will find our way back into each other's arms but for now, I have to let her go.