believe

12. comfortable

"Oh my god, babe I've missed this...fuck.." I groan lightly as Chloe kisses my neck. I put my hands in her hair and wrap my legs around her waist as she lifts me up and puts me on her desk.

Our lips lock again, and she carries me to the bed. I wrap my arms around her neck as she falls forward on me.

Chloe pulls away from me and takes my hoodie off, leaving me lay there in just a bra. My chest goes tight and I struggle to breathe while Chloe continues to kiss my neck and moves down my chest.

I sit up quickly, throwing Chloe off the bed. "Beca?! Are you alright babe?" She asks, getting back up and sitting next to me. "Please can we do this another night?" I gasp, holding my chest and crying.

"What's going on?" I cover my face while Chloe puts her arms around me and rubs my back. I breathe slowly, calming down.

I shake my head and bury my head in her shoulder. "Baby, are you okay?" Chloe whispers into my ears softly. I shake my head again, calming my breathing down. "I-I hate my scars."

Her body tenses up after hearing those words. "Beca, we went over this last week when you came home sweetie. You're gorgeous. But if you wanna stop then it's fine, I don't wanna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

I nod slowly. "But I don't wanna..I don't wanna hold you back from doing anything." I reply quietly. Chloe smiles and gently strokes my cheek with her thumb.

"You're not. I swear. I can survive without sex, it makes me feel bad if you're doing it just so I feel something." Chloe says, laughing nervously. "So, don't feel awful."

"I do feel awful, Chloe. I want you to be happy too!" I say, wiping the tears off my face. "I am happy, Beca, don't worry about me. Focus on you."

Chloe smiles and gently lifts my chin up so we're looking into eachother's eyes. "Anyway, you're gorgeous." The redhead mumbles, leaning forward and gently kissing the scars. I feel a tear run down my cheek as she peppers practically the entire left side of my body in kisses.

She lifts her head up and looks into my eyes again, her eyes glassy with tears. "I love you baby." Chloe whispers into my ear, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me onto her lap.

"I love you too Chlo." I mumble in response.

"And I'm so proud of you. Beca, you went through hell and back to get here now, the crash really fucked your life up and you didn't deserve for that to happen." She tells me. I smile before tilting my head up and pressing my lips against hers.

Chloe grins and puts her hands in my hair. "So..do you want this?" She whispers. I nod, and Chloe takes that as an invitation to push me onto my back and straddle my waist.

————

I wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, and Chloe looks really scared. "Baby, you okay?" She whispers, sitting up beside me and opening her arms out to me. I throw myself at her chest and her arms instantly go around me, rubbing my back gently. "Beca, are you okay?" Chloe repeats as I cry harder into her chest. I shake my head and look up at her, my breathing getting faster. "What's up, sweetheart?" She asks, looking down at me.

"I-I...had a nightmare.....we did it.....b-but you hated m-my scars..and y-you broke up with me.." I whisper. "Oh, darling. I honestly don't understand how you can be so worried about me seeing them. I think scars are cool." Chloe replies, grinning. I raise my eyebrows and sit up slightly.

"R-Really?" Chloe nods in response before slowly lifting up her shorts to reveal her own scars. "See? You never judged me for mine, I couldn't imagine ever judging you for yours. And I'd never leave you for something you can't control."

Chloe smiles and puts her lips against my forehead and kisses it gently. "I love you, baby."