Bradford Bad Boy 2: Stockholm Syndrome [Zarry Mpreg] - Book 2

Chapter 17- Fixing

Harry's POV
You know that feeling when you feel like you could have done better with yourself, and that you have failed in something at life?

Well that is exactly how I feel right now, and let me say...I am depressed.

I don't feel like cooking breakfast or basically anything, I don't feel like eating, and pathetically I don't even want to take my own kids to school. It's been two days since my miscarriage, but I still feel like it happened a few minutes ago.

It just feels so unreal to me.

I'm just so hurt about losing her. I can't get over the fact that I was actually carrying her inside of me for more than four months, then all of a sudden.... she's just...gone.

All of the sleepless nights because of morning sickness, headaches, and cravings all seem like they were all for nothing to me. I knew that something like this would happen, it always does. When I finally decide to have another baby with Zayn, I end up messing it up like I always do.

The pain and agony all hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard those words come out of the doctors mouth, I couldn't even react to her response. My heat feels like it scattered into a jumble broken pieces of a impossible puzzle, and there is no other way to fix it.

Zayn has been trying everything he has to cheer me up, but unfortunately for his luck, it's not going well. Like yesterday he asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I flipped off on him. I didn't talk to the boy for the rest of day, and for a matter of fact, I'm still not talking to him now. I know that may be kind of rude, but I just really want time to myself.

I try to pretend like everything's fine around the kids, but they know something's wrong with me, because they constantly are checking on me. I hate to tell them the real reason why I'm acting like this, but they don't really understand, and I don't want to explain to them on why I couldn't give them a little sister.

At least today is Saturday, so me nor Zayn has to go to work today, which means that I can stay in our room for the rest of the day and grieve.

~
"Daddy, Daddy!" Ava constantly yelled as I laid in bed faced down, hearing my daughter running up the stairs.

I quickly sat up, and waited for her to enter me and Zayn's bedroom. The little girl ran in, and jumped on top of me, making me groan a bit. I smiled at her and she sits in my lap."Daddy, me and Caden are going to the park with Papa! Do you want to come!?" She asked me with excitement.

I shook my head."Umm...no thanks Ava. I think I will stay home this time." I exclaimed and watch as the smile on her face faded.

"But why daddy? You always want to go to the park with us." She said.

I bite my bottom lip nervously. "Because Daddy's not really in a mood to go to the park." I replied.

She gives me another one of her pouty faces, and tugs on my jumper."Please."

"I'm sorry Ava, but..."

I was cut off. Ava just quickly jumped off of my lap, and ran out of our room without letting me finish. So I decided to wait a minute, and see if she would come back, and just like I predicted she did, but this time with Caden, and Zayn following behind her. The two boys look at me and she pulls them over to me."Something's wrong with daddy!" She tells the two, and Zayn gazes at me with his concerned expression.

Caden ambled over to me and sits down next to me."Are you sick daddy?" He asks as his hazel eyes stare into my green one. If they were a bit older I would have told them the real reason, but for now it's only a secret to them.

I smiled and ran my hands through his hair."No I'm not sick." I chuckled.

"Then why won't you come to the park with us?" Caden questioned.